"Somebody's got a case of the Mondays" - Office Space

Lucky for you guys, we overcame our near-fatal case of the Mondays and threw this Monday Morning QB post together. If you haven't been smart enough to discover this on your own, clicking on the links in our posts will make our jokes even more clever. I know that's hard to believe, but let's just give it a test.

What a tremendous weekend in sports. If you didn’t find the weekend’s sporting events absolutely sparkling, then you were about as lifeless as a plastic f**k doll. Our American hockey team dazzled its way to the gold medal game. Unfortunately, the magical run (which seemed ever more destined to end with gold after an astonishing game-tying goal with 24 seconds left) ended with a Sidney “The Crybaby” Crosby overtime goal to lift Canada over the United States. This was an absolutely heart wrenching punch to the gut. However, our boys in blue displayed bigger cojones than Colossus the Bulldog in erasing a 2-0 deficit and pushing the Goliath Canadians to the brink of what would have been a monumental collapse. The big blower comes in the realization that the Americans actually played a better game against these Canadians than their first meet, which ended in a Team USA victory. For their valiant display, We applaud Team USA.

A number of key games have passed since the NBA trade deadline. These games have allowed us the opportunity to evaluate a couple blockbuster moves. The Dallas Mavericks earn an A+ for their acquisitions. They are currently riding the longest unbeaten streak at 7 games. This streak includes quality wins over a few elite teams and a couple playoff bound squads: Lakers, Magic, Hawks, Suns, and Heat. They are a suddenly scary team with solid perimeter defense and a new mobile center that blocks shots. After a brief adjustment period, the Cavaliers are back to their winning ways, reeling off 3 wins in a row. The loss of Shaq makes the Antawn Jamison trade all the more important. The Milwaukee Bucks seem to be reaping the benefits of John Salmons. John Salmons doing work happens about as often as a Leprechaun siting.

This past weekend also presented us with crucial college basketball games that are sure to define teams' chances of making the NCAA tournament. For once, college basketball seems to lack the two or three dominating powers that often cruise through a season. The increasing parity is made evident with the top 3 teams losing over the weekend. We only managed to catch one college basketball game, but it was a thrilling 73-70 Old Dominion victory over VCU. Congrats to the hometown ODU men’s team on clinching the regular season CAA title. And could someone please ask the Texas hoops team about their wieners. They have apparently lost their manhood and now these freak athletes play more like Freak Show. After starting the season 17-0, and boasting a number 1 ranking, they have since gone 5-7.

By now you've realized we provide a better scoop than ESPN, Rolling Stone, and IMDB combined. Make sure you check back tomorrow for an iTunes Tuesday that will change your life. And look for our March Madness preview next week. We'll break down every conference tournament, and give you our picks for the at-large bids. We don't exactly get a hand in the NCAA's selection process, but still, we're kind of a big deal.