The More You Know-NBC

Last week we played the roles of Chip N’ Dale in an attempt to Rescue Ranger all you schmucks from the radio killer. Today, we will continue the process of removing your musical training wheels by giving you a solid foundation of what to look for in an artist or song.

So, what distinguishes crappy artists and songs from musical bliss? Dictionary.com defines music as “an art of sound in time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, harmony, and color.” This definition does a tremendous job in defining our concept of “good music.” It begins with the sound. The created noise must be aesthetically pleasing to the ear. This is as obvious as not buttf#*king the kids. However, so many artists fail to deliver the number one criterion that defines music.

Now that we have established the grand notion that music must sound good for it to be enjoyable, let us move on. The provided definition goes on to state that music is an expression of ideas and emotions. This is where our musical fortitude separates us from the rest of the zombieeeeees. Lyrics are of utmost importance. If music is an attempt to express one’s ideas and emotions, then we, as an audience, must have some connection to what we are listening to. What is your music telling you? If you can connect to a song referencing simple minded ventures such as getting fu*ked up, blowing coke, and having sex with every single girl in the entire world, then we pity the fool. I mean really Lil Wayne, every single girl? You know what kinds of lagoon creatures are roaming this earth? I recently had the unfortunate opportunity to listen to LMFAO’s single, Shots. This song was the epitome of expressionless music with an empty and vulgar message. Any song that makes an attempt to list the plethora of alcoholic shots offered by your local bar must be avoided, unless, of course, you love Buttery Nipples. So please pay attention to the message your music attempts to deliver. Is this message worth listening to?

Music is a powerful outlet to express oneself. It is also soup for the soul. Be weary of what you are feeding yourself. Crappy music can and will cause indigestion and diarrhea.

Swing by next Tuesday for a more in-depth look at some artists of particular interest.