When it rains, it hurricanes

We had a great idea for FF, then real life tossed us a better idea. We had our most productive and strenuous day of #30DaysOfRewrites yesterday. Mostly, we've been adding jokes, making dialogue crisper and the action more vivid. Yesterday, we added an element to the plot, and basically rewrote 8 pages from scratch. It was a fun three hours. (Pause) Not.

So after spending all that time perfecting the script, it was only fitting that the inspiration behind the movie reared it's head this morning. For both of us.

Combined, we're in well over six figures of debt - mostly Student Loans. We've both devised different plans to cope with our financial woes. From this point on we will refer to the two of us as Idiot A and Idiot B.

Idiot A happens to view his "net worth" in a positive, and slightly delusional, light. This moron only looks at the difference between his checking account and credit card debt, ignoring any other debts and student loans. There's no way tens of thousands of dollars will be paid back anytime soon, so feeling like you are only in debt $200 bucks feels better than say, $35,200 or $80,200. Last month, Idiot A was actually +$400. This month, sparing you the details, he is -$1,000. Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat.

Idiot A is actually doing quite well for himself, but only when compared to Idiot B. Idiot B easily trumps "not so much of an Idiot A" with nearly triple the debt. Recently, Idiot B decided to consolidate his credit card payments to get them paid off quicker. Last week he called the CC company to change his due date to coincide with the payments he makes to the consolidation company. More on this in a second.

It's ironic, because an almost identical scenario was invented for a scene in our screenplay. And then a couple months later it happens in real life. I think next week we will add a scene where we hit the lottery/sell a movie to Hollywood and see if we can duplicate our Nostradamus-like powers.

So, today, Idiot B is sitting at his desk and checks his bank account. He was licking his chops, as today was the almighty payday. Somehow, but not surprisingly, his account is instantly $250 short. Come to find out, his car payments had been automatically deducted from his account without his authorization. The swift kick in the balls is only made more devastating since he had already made his payments manually. Nothing beats paying you're car payments twice in one month with money you don't have.

While checking his accounts, he realizes that his due date for his credit card payments still have not been changed. He phones them, and they apologize, but tell him the date won't be changed until next month. This poses a huge dilemma, since the Consolidation Company is scheduled to automatically deduct payments from his account as well. After nearly an hour long conversation, the Consolidation company informs Idiot B that he must pay BOTH the credit card company AND the consolidation company for the month of March, until the program kicks in during the second month (April). This is clearly information that could have been brought to his attention YESTERDAY.

It's all in a day's work for us. After a few weeks of doing pretty well financially, we sink $1,500 further into debt, and get duped into making double payments (on two bills no less).

Like so much of the events in our movie, the joke's on us. Hope you enjoy it. We sure don't.

Psalm 118:1

After only a week, our blog has begun to pick up steam, and traffic to our site is slowly picking up. As the blog and our script begin to find success, it would be easy to dutch rudder one another and become big headed. We are, however, both in complete understanding that we cannot take all the credit. We “gotta thank all those little digital guys with the big hearts.” So as we near the coming weekend, in hopes of not having to waste a precious day off on one of those “boring family barbecues,” we offer up Thursday as our day of thanks.

First and foremost, we would like to personally devote this time to thank our loyal following. It is a modest following that we hope will grow, but a following nonetheless. If you're feeling our vibe, chances are other people will too, so we appreciate your help in spreading the word about our project.

These are the following people who make a conscious effort to read our blog on the daily:

Abby “30 minute Abs” Salter
Andre “my booboo” Randolph
Carlos Eckerd
Chetak “Chuck” Patel
Chris Huntley
Dan “Danny Smansky” Szramowski
Lindsey “Kung Fu Panda” Sun
Mattson "WackeyChan.com" Tomlin
Michele “Wilkes & Marion Barber” Booth
Sumner “Sharktooth” Crawford

With utmost sincerity, we thank each and every one of you for supporting and following us. It means a lot. We hope you continue to chew the crap we feed you.

Would also like to give a bonus shout-out to our dudes Carlos and Chetak for making donations to the cause. Your generosity will go a long way in making this script find a Hollywood home.

A special thanks to Adriana Zyskowski for her assistance in getting us hooked up with some of her Hollywood connects. Yea, she’s a baller. Thanks.

So far things are going exactly as we envisioned. Our goal is to get as many people excited and interested in this as possible. We hope that when our script sells, and our crazy dream becomes a reality, all our close friends will be celebrating alongside us. We want all our friends to have a sense of ownership over this movie's success. Everyone at the premiere will have had some hand in making this happen (whether it is through your generous donations, spreading the word about our blog, or putting us in touch with people in the movie industry.

Another way you can help us out is to click the "follow" button over to the right. If someone new checks out our site and sees that 150 people follow this site, compared to 1 or 2, they're more likely to give us a fair read.

Thanks to all our minions and unnamed fools that read the site. If you'd like to get famous for absolutely no reason, join the above mentioned names and follow our blog, send us an e-mail, leave a comment, make a donation, follow the blow, link to us on your website. Any type of approval for our efforts is appreciated. It is also needed, as our egos crave the constant boost.

"Dear Sergio" - Catch 22

The more we research and explore the market for selling a comedy spec script, the more head-shaking the process becomes. Don't know what a spec script is? Allow wiki to educate you. There are two contradicting elements to selling a screenplay. The process should be very simple. Funny script should equal money in the bizzank. Unfortunately, the selling point is harder than Jim Levenstein during a Nadia encounter.

To get your script read by an agent or producer, you need a killer log line. This log line must demonstrate that you've written a script with a well-developed, intriguing plot that appeals to a wide audience. But, on the flip side, you want the reader to be able to digest your story in a quick, smooth read. For comedies, the reader does not want to waste time figuring out the back-story of your characters and intricate plot twists. They just want to laugh. On every page. The majority of the time, a comedy is sold on it's comedy, (ironic, yea?) not it's earth-shattering plot.

If you have a script that really cracks-up the reader, it's much easier to sell a comedy spec than other genres. Almost half of all the Hollywood spec script sales last year were comedies. But the problem is, you need to get someone to WANT to read that funny script first. Fifty percent of the time, writing a knee slapping comedy attracts someone's attention every time.

And that's our dilemma. We know we've got a script with lots of laughs, but our screenplay is a clean, straightforward, realistic story. Unfortunately, realistic is hard to sell, hence Pamela's quadruple D breasts. That seems to be the script a reader will enjoy reading, but unless they have a reason to read it first, they won't. Think about the general premise for some of the funnier movies you've seen. Borderline snores if you ask me.

Would you be compelled to read the script for a movie about two high-school kids' adventurous attempts to buy beer with a fake ID in order to impress a couple cute girls? Probably not. That's just a regular, old plain ham and cheese story. But if you read the script for Superbad, you'd chuckle up a stiff boner. What about a script that follows two guys showing up uninvited to weddings? This might prove to be a funny premise, might not. Unfortunately tho, you probably wouldn't be compelled to check it out. In the event that someone takes a chance and devotes those two hours to read it, they become pleasantly surprised to find a blockbuster gem.

So that's part of where this site comes in. A lot of times when a movie like that is sold, the writer has to build some type of relationship within the industry. The only other alternative is to kidnap a studio executive, force him to read your script, and hope he laughs enough to overlook your felony. A personal acquaintance might read a script you swear is funny, even if it might not compel them to read it at first glance. Maybe our log line won't pique the interest of a Hollywood reader or major production company. But maybe someone stumbles across this site and sees a refreshing comedic voice and decides they'd give our script a read.

That's not to say our plot is garbage. It's more than just a string of funny scenes. Or is it? Guess you'll have to give it a read.



We really need all the help and support we can get from any and all takers (and givers). The donations will help us afford to get our script critiqued by accomplished, produced screenwriters, eventually book flights to meet with agents and producers, purchase listings and services to get in contact with respected production companies and actors. Heck, maybe you just dig the double dose of phallic humor and want to thank us with a small donation. Ya know, if you're into that sort of thing (Pun intended). The financial support would greatly help two debt-stricken guys(the basis of our screenplay) avoid going into any further debt.

"Loud Noises" - Anchorman

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma, Roma-ma
Gaga, ooh, la la

Ok, so we are definitely not going to use today’s segment to write about the illustrious Lady Gaga. But lets discuss someone in the music industry who’s quickly becoming bigger than Ms. Gaga’s male genitalia: Drake.

Mr. Drizzy Drake is known for his witty one-liners, a la Lil Wayne, and smooth vocals. His rise in the industry is remarkable, considering he has yet to release an album. The hits keep coming, and Drake has done little to disappoint. Unfortunately, we are all chugging his Sprite so quick that we have failed to see the kid with the real 7up in the game. Allow me to introduce J.Cole.

J. Cole was the first artist signed to Jay-Z’s new label, Roc Nation. His introduction to the mainstream was in Jay-Z’s The Blue Print III, on the track “A Star is Born.” The North Carolina bred lyricist delivers quite a punch on the track. J. Cole strikes a similar resemblance to Lupe. His music is real and his flow is so sharp it leaves an emo kid's wrists hurting. While Drake has “money to blow,” Mr. Jermaine Cole is running on a “dollar and a dream.” Please check out his latest mixtape, “The Warmup.” If your schedule doesn't allow you to devote forty minutes to the whole CD, do yourselves a favor and listen to "Can I Live" and "Grown Simba." We will be having an exam on this, so please, no shortcuts.

That's your weekly dose of iTunes Tuesday. To stop the incessant pain in your ears, please follow our professional advice and take this prescription. Your ears will be tickled pink with pleasure in no time. You're welcome, now clap for us, clap for us.

“If a person grits his teeth and shows real determination…” –Charlie Brown

Much has happened in the world of sports in recent days. Tiger Woods made his highly anticipated public announcement to the world on Friday. What concerns me was his showcased apology. I’m not saying it lacked any sincerity, or that he has failed to accept responsibility for his actions. I’m just curious as to why Tiger Woods owed me an apology. I’m not your wife; don’t tell me how sorry you are. At the end of his conference, he left me like one of his hooker dial-ups, scratching my head wondering when he would be back.

There was a slew of NBA trades that look to shake up the landscape of the league. After being blinded by many of the smokescreens and rumors that come with a trade deadline, we were actually treated to some blockbuster moves. How these moves fair for each team is to be seen. King James certainly hopes that his Cleveland Cavaliers' recent 3-game skid since acquiring Antawn Jamison is not a sign of the times.

Despite the major NBA trades and Tiger’s apology, hockey came out of the weekend with the biggest headline. Team USA trumped the almighty Canadian hosts 5-3 in one of the most gut-wrenching endings to an Olympic hockey game ever. The United States grit their teeth and displayed the utmost determination in grinding out a victory against a bevy of NHL All-stars that outshot the boys in blue 45-23. The win catapults the Americans into Wednesday’s quarterfinals. This was easily the most important win for Team USA since Gordon Bombay and Julie "The Cat" Gaffney stopped Iceland in the '94 Junior Games. As big of a victory as it was for the American skaters, it was just as much so, if not more, for the NHL.

Hockey has clearly dropped out of the forefront of major mainstream sports. What was once a Big Four (NFL, NBA, MLB, and NHL) is now simply a One (NFL) casting its shadow on a smaller two (NBA and MLB). Hockey has become a passion reserved for a select following. NHL games have become the “Where’s Waldo” of televised sports. But for one night, hockey became more than just a topic of water cooler discussion. The chatter, hype, and excitement amongst the general public was evident. Sure, the United States didn’t go into a nation wide freeze, but the buzz was there. This little bit of Buzz, and a headlining story on ESPN.com, is a monumental victory for a sport that is all but frozen dead.

"It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing" - Office Space

It's only fitting that our first official post centers around movies, and more importantly, our movie. We are exactly half-way finished with our re-writes (55 pages down, 55 pages to go!). It's going much smoother and quicker than writing the original drafts. Now that the characters all have personalities and the storyline is finished, perfecting their dialogue is more natural. Noticing typos, grammatical errors, and flaws in the plot is easier as well. It does get frustrating when we breeze through pages of the script with only minor corrections, and then spend an hour or two searching for the perfect words for just one line.

No single person can turn a screenplay into a movie, so we've been reaching out to people in different fields of show business. We've gotten a lot of tips from the guys that write at The Working Screenwriter and Screenwriter's Rehab. Both of them have had some success in this business and we're thrilled to be getting first-hand suggestions from people who know the industry.

It's difficult for unknown writers to catch the attention of agents and producers. But some of our favorite movies have been written by first-time writers, so hopefully we can catch lightning in a bottle as well. As mentioned in our blog intro, the rumor is that someone in Hollywood came across Diablo Cody's blog and thought she had a great voice and and could relate to a wide audience. The result was Juno. Scott Neustadter experienced heartbreak and turned it into (500) Days of Summer. There are countless others, but those are the two closest to our path. Our screenplay is similar to (500) because we've endured some very unfortunate events in our life. But everyone else always got a good laugh out our expense. Our efforts to get noticed are similar to how someone noticed Diablo's blog.

About a year ago, people always told us, "that should be in a movie" after getting a chuckle out of something going on in our lives. So, we spent some time rehashing our debacles, creating a story line, and exaggerating the mess out of our shenanigans. In that time, if there is anything we've learned about trying to sell a spec. script it's that there is no format to follow, no path to success. Which is great for us, because we'd rather do it our own made-up way anyhow.

Since our movie isn't in theaters just yet (just yet = never), you should check out Shutter Island. I also recommend seeing Avatar. But if you haven't seen it yet, I can't imagine you're going to the movies this weekend.

Ready for Take-off

We decided to change the site up a little bit. Rather than an explanation of our Hollywood-bound efforts, we elected to turn this into an actual blog. By documenting our progress and writing about some topics of interest,we hope to give our script a greater chance of being recognized by some Big Wig Producer Hopefully you’ll find some of the crap we write somewhat humorous, slightly intelligent, and a tad entertaining. If you happen to be delusional enough to find this nonsense scintillating, then please direct your friends to our site. Maybe enough traffic will come through that it eventually reaches the likes of Judd Apatow. If you find it so terrible that you send it to your friends as a gag, we’ll take that kind of fame and notoriety, too.

We hope that you will follow us on Twitter and join our Facebook Fan Page. Also, to the right of the page, you can make tweets and status updates about our site and what we are trying to accomplish. Please help us spread the word.

Since neither of us would ever journal-blog about our weekend misadventures, and sticking to just one topic like “The 80’s TV blog” would bore us to death, we’re going in a different direction. We figured we'd write about some of the important issues in our world: Politics, Economics and Government (pronounced: Sports, Movies & Music). The format we've chosen will give us some kind of direction. Rather than allowing ourselves to bounce around, we have placed a slight boundary on what we write about. This gives you, the reader, some kind of expectations. But, as the writers, we can ultimately do whatever we want. So don't get too comfy. There will be one post a day Monday through Friday of whatever length of words is appropriate.

So without further adieu, here is our severely corny lay-out:

Monday Morning QB: Anything Sports related from the weekend, upcoming games, stats, who knows. During baseball season, we’ll have to get creative. Just kidding. Sort of.

iTunes Tuesday: With our excellent taste in music, we’ll try to educate the world on what we’ve been listening to lately. Might be a short post like, “Google these songs by this band and start listening to them”, or it might be a rant on why someone has to be considered the most talented Hip-Hop Artist alive. In any case, your ear will thank you for taking our advice.

Wild-Card Wednesday: Can you imagine a better way to break up the monotony of hump-day than finding out the surprise blog-post waiting for you here? Hopefully you can, but some kind of mystery will be waiting for you anyway.

Thursday Thanks: We have received an overwhelming amount of support from our friends and family to get this project off the ground. We hope to continue receiving such strong assistance, especially as our wallets run dry. This section will be reserved to acknowledge all the individuals we encounter that have either helped us with the script, given us a push in life, or thrown us a bone at some point. We will also use this as an opportunity to throw in the occasional plug for someone else's website. And of course, anyone that makes a donation will get listed on Thursdays as well.

Filmmaking Friday: We’ll update you about flicks we’ve seen recently, movies coming out, stuff about our screenwriting endeavors, and for good-measure we’ll lend this section to TV as well.

So there it is. We’re actually moronic enough to believe this idea might somehow get us noticed by someone with a huge checking account. But hey, Diablo Cody (Writer of Juno) got noticed doing a blog, and if the idea for Million-Dollar home-page worked then we’ll waste some time writing stuff no one is going to read.