Ok, so it has been a few days since our last post and we are very sorry for this. We hope that March Madness has been able to entertain you during our absence. It's been a real topsy turvy tournament that has left our brackets' butt-holes quite sore. Anyways, we really don't have much for you today in the name of iTunes Tuesday. Our suggestion would be to stop listening to crappy music. Our strenuous jobs demand our attention now, so we must keep today's post short. Hopefully the Mario Brother's come rescue us like Princess Toadstool and we can just warp through one of those green tunnels straight outta work. So without further adieu, we leave you with one funny video. It had us laughing for a minute.
"You Don't Know ME!!!!!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
"Suck it, Trebek" - Sean Connory
No new followers this week, and no one did anything cool to help us out this week. Freaking jerks. So the only thing deserving of our thanks, is March Madness for showing up. In light of the greatest two days of sports and our jobs getting in the way, there will be no Filmmaking Friday post tomorrow. We told you not to get too comfortable.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
"You're not funny. You look funny, but you're not funny" - Funny People
It's March 17th, so obviously a celebration is in order. Today is the one month anniversary of the blog. Daquiri's! It's also St. Patrick's Day, so here's to a day full of Guinness, U2, Leprechauns, Limericks, and bagpipes.
Since last week's Wild-Card Wednesday failed miserably, we'll turn it over to the professionals this time. When we were still roommates, we probably spent 8 or 9 hours a day entertaining ourselves on YouTube. We've seen all the videos like Charlie Bit Me & Boom Goes the Dynamite. The real treasures are TV, movie & stand-up clips. Here's links to our ten favorite clips. we promise you'll like them.
Lucky Louis - In The Park
Eddie Murphy - Better Than McDonald's
Borat Learns Dinner Etiquette
Eddie Murphy - Rocky & Italians
Lucky Louis - Getting Married
Bernie Mac - Kings of Comedy
Lucky Louis - On Drinking
Borat Learns Karate
Eddie Murphy - Guys' Secrets
Chris Tucker - Def Comedy Jam
There's a good chance you laughed so hard that you peed your pants. Luckily, you ain't cool unless you pee your pants.
Since last week's Wild-Card Wednesday failed miserably, we'll turn it over to the professionals this time. When we were still roommates, we probably spent 8 or 9 hours a day entertaining ourselves on YouTube. We've seen all the videos like Charlie Bit Me & Boom Goes the Dynamite. The real treasures are TV, movie & stand-up clips. Here's links to our ten favorite clips. we promise you'll like them.
Lucky Louis - In The Park
Eddie Murphy - Better Than McDonald's
Borat Learns Dinner Etiquette
Eddie Murphy - Rocky & Italians
Lucky Louis - Getting Married
Bernie Mac - Kings of Comedy
Lucky Louis - On Drinking
Borat Learns Karate
Eddie Murphy - Guys' Secrets
Chris Tucker - Def Comedy Jam
There's a good chance you laughed so hard that you peed your pants. Luckily, you ain't cool unless you pee your pants.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Work Sucks, I know -Blink 182
OK, so the past few weeks we have given well documented gripes for our particular distaste in certain songs and artists. We will go in a little different direction today. In keeping things brief, as both our jobs demand our time, we will simply list some songs that have managed to keep their attention in our playlists recently.
"The Enemy" by The White Tie Affair
"The Girl Got Hot" by Weezer
"Up Up & Away" by Kid Cudi
"Popular Demand" by Lupe Fiasco
"Flashback" by Jack Splash and Lupe
"Dreams" by J. Cole
"My Darlin Baby" by Lil Wayne and Drake
"The Shot Heard Round The World" by Boys Like Girls
Again, we apologize for the short post. It may seem that we are unable to give our all, but we assure you that we can only give 100%, because the other 10% is donated to charity.
"The Enemy" by The White Tie Affair
"The Girl Got Hot" by Weezer
"Up Up & Away" by Kid Cudi
"Popular Demand" by Lupe Fiasco
"Flashback" by Jack Splash and Lupe
"Dreams" by J. Cole
"My Darlin Baby" by Lil Wayne and Drake
"The Shot Heard Round The World" by Boys Like Girls
Again, we apologize for the short post. It may seem that we are unable to give our all, but we assure you that we can only give 100%, because the other 10% is donated to charity.
Monday, March 15, 2010
I'm not here to service you, I'm here to service these young boys- Role Models
Sup Minotards. You are all very fortunate to be receiving you're dose of Sports this Monday Morning, as I am excruciatingly tired from playing a midnight hockey game last night. My compadre happens to be tied down with job responsibilities, so I am forced to fight my heavy eyes and spew out some garbage for you guys. Before I move on to the NCAA tournament, I will toss out a couple sports related news items. Ladainian Tomlinson has just signed a two year deal with the New York Jets. We are particularly dissapointed in LT's decision to move to New York over Minnesota. A Favre & LT tandem would have been quite fun to cheer for. Also, David Beckham has torn his achilles and appears likely to miss the World Cup this summer. Quite a bummer on his part. After Texas dissapointed in the Big 12 Tournament, and the Stars continue to falter, the Mavericks sealed a crappy weekend in sports for myself by getting pummeled by the dismal New York Knicks. I felt like Brennan after licking the white dog poo, "I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this sh*# on me?"
Anyways....with the NCAA Tournament just days away, I know everyone is excited to pump out those Brackets. For you're entertainment, and our chagrin, he is my NCAA bracket:
MIDWEST REGION:
1. Kansas over 16. Lehigh
8. UNLV over 9. N. Iowa
5. Michigan St. over 12. New Mexico St.
4. Maryland over 13. Houston
6. Tennessee over 11. SDSU
3. Georgetown over 14. Ohio
Ugh, ok, in all honesty, typing all my picks out has already become tedious. And not too mention, you clowns are given high quality H2O every day from us. I will not force feed you my picks of wisdom. I challenge you to take the training wheels off and make the picks on your own. Besides, predicting the outcome of each region in the bracket is like predicting Kirstie Ally's weight. We know its a HUUUGE event, and there is a lot of BIG upsets. Unfortunately, the games are so up and down, not even we know what to expect. So, we bid everyone good luck in their Pools, unless of course we are in the same one.
Anyways....with the NCAA Tournament just days away, I know everyone is excited to pump out those Brackets. For you're entertainment, and our chagrin, he is my NCAA bracket:
MIDWEST REGION:
1. Kansas over 16. Lehigh
8. UNLV over 9. N. Iowa
5. Michigan St. over 12. New Mexico St.
4. Maryland over 13. Houston
6. Tennessee over 11. SDSU
3. Georgetown over 14. Ohio
Ugh, ok, in all honesty, typing all my picks out has already become tedious. And not too mention, you clowns are given high quality H2O every day from us. I will not force feed you my picks of wisdom. I challenge you to take the training wheels off and make the picks on your own. Besides, predicting the outcome of each region in the bracket is like predicting Kirstie Ally's weight. We know its a HUUUGE event, and there is a lot of BIG upsets. Unfortunately, the games are so up and down, not even we know what to expect. So, we bid everyone good luck in their Pools, unless of course we are in the same one.
Friday, March 12, 2010
"I Demand the Sum of... ONE MILLION DOLLARS!" - Dr. Evil
First, we'd like to congratulate ourselves for finishing our #30DaysOfRewrites project. For the last month, we spent an hour or two everyday taking notes and perfecting the script. Sometimes we simply made minor dialogue changes or re-wrote a few lines in a scene. Other days, we had to completely revamp things, add to the plot, and even delete a few scenes.
Writing a screenplay is time-consuming enough. Writing a screenplay while working a combined 140 hours a week was freaking miserable. Squeezing in text messages and aim chats throughout the day and trying to stay on the same page was challenging. There were plenty of days that we felt like putting it off. But Somehow, we managed to force each other to stick with it and finish. All too often, it seemed like Big Bob was telling us we better get hungry real fast.
We'll use the next couple days to finish typing all of our editing decisions and to re-read the script. We need to make sure everything flows right. Then, in a week or two, we'll finally be ready to get famous for nothing. Unfortunately, getting famous will require us to spend money that we don't have. In order to get our script read by Hollywood producers, we have to get feedback from accomplished screenwriters. It would be awesome if they provided that service for free, but it runs anywhere from $60-$300. It is also suggested that we get our script critiqued by 3 different writers. This allows for 3 different views and opinions, providing us a clearer idea as to what needs changed.
That's where the Ad banners you probably noticed at the top of the page come in. From the same guys crazy enough to think they can sell a Hollywood movie script, we present the "Million Dollar Ad Banner"! An English kid had a similar idea, that was equally as ridiculous . In a mere 4 months, some crooked toothed bloke became a millionaire. We figured we'd ride this brilliant marketing wave and give it a shot as well. Perhaps we earn a million dollars as well, giving us the opportunity to fund the entire movie, or maybe we only make enough money to buy a coke and a smile, and shut the eff up. Who knows.
We do ask that all of our loyal readers help us with this project. Assisting us will come at no cost, besides the shame and loss of dignity that comes with associating yourselves with us. The more traffic and hits our blog experiences, the greater chance we have for companies to willingly advertise on our page. This means, we must increase our following. The more viewers a site has, the more likely they are to make money on their investment. And that is a scientific fact! So, we would really appreciate anyone that tweets, changes their facebook status or tells their friends about this site.
To all our loyal minions, and those of you visiting, please enjoy a safe weekend. We hope that by Monday our post will be that our "Million Dollar Ad Banner" took off and we are rich.
Writing a screenplay is time-consuming enough. Writing a screenplay while working a combined 140 hours a week was freaking miserable. Squeezing in text messages and aim chats throughout the day and trying to stay on the same page was challenging. There were plenty of days that we felt like putting it off. But Somehow, we managed to force each other to stick with it and finish. All too often, it seemed like Big Bob was telling us we better get hungry real fast.
We'll use the next couple days to finish typing all of our editing decisions and to re-read the script. We need to make sure everything flows right. Then, in a week or two, we'll finally be ready to get famous for nothing. Unfortunately, getting famous will require us to spend money that we don't have. In order to get our script read by Hollywood producers, we have to get feedback from accomplished screenwriters. It would be awesome if they provided that service for free, but it runs anywhere from $60-$300. It is also suggested that we get our script critiqued by 3 different writers. This allows for 3 different views and opinions, providing us a clearer idea as to what needs changed.
That's where the Ad banners you probably noticed at the top of the page come in. From the same guys crazy enough to think they can sell a Hollywood movie script, we present the "Million Dollar Ad Banner"! An English kid had a similar idea, that was equally as ridiculous . In a mere 4 months, some crooked toothed bloke became a millionaire. We figured we'd ride this brilliant marketing wave and give it a shot as well. Perhaps we earn a million dollars as well, giving us the opportunity to fund the entire movie, or maybe we only make enough money to buy a coke and a smile, and shut the eff up. Who knows.
We do ask that all of our loyal readers help us with this project. Assisting us will come at no cost, besides the shame and loss of dignity that comes with associating yourselves with us. The more traffic and hits our blog experiences, the greater chance we have for companies to willingly advertise on our page. This means, we must increase our following. The more viewers a site has, the more likely they are to make money on their investment. And that is a scientific fact! So, we would really appreciate anyone that tweets, changes their facebook status or tells their friends about this site.
To all our loyal minions, and those of you visiting, please enjoy a safe weekend. We hope that by Monday our post will be that our "Million Dollar Ad Banner" took off and we are rich.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
"Leave it on the doorstep, and get the hell outta here" - Home Alone
First and foremost, thanks to everyone that suffered through yesterday's post. We tried something new and thought it was going to be amazing...Samsonite, we were way off.
Since we posted a novel yesterday, We'll keep it short and sweet today.
Thanks to our new followers, Offsider and Zach. Hopefully we are doing something right to get some interest from people we don't know. A shout out to Jordan "Jersey Girl" Mooring for checking us out as well.
Since we posted a novel yesterday, We'll keep it short and sweet today.
Thanks to our new followers, Offsider and Zach. Hopefully we are doing something right to get some interest from people we don't know. A shout out to Jordan "Jersey Girl" Mooring for checking us out as well.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Pardon the Interruption
We've got quite a surprise for Wild-Card Wednesday. Anyone that's had the pleasure of kicking it with us, knows that we're always game for an argument. Especially with each other. We've had some fantastic debates, so we thought we'd share one of our iChat one-up sessions with everyone. Most of arguments start innocently enough and with us in agreement about something. But, sooner or later, we always throw down.
**Disclaimer: We apologize, but this argument took place over a year ago. It was before we cleaned up our filthy mouths. We've edited it for our younger viewers, though.
January 1, 2009
Dog12: Wow.. the jets are officially the worst most retarded team on the planet
Trash9: Why
Dog12: a) firing Mangini i thought was a knee-jerk reaction, and not a good one
Dog12: he’s taken them from basically terrible all the time to a pretty decent contender
Dog12: but b) you see what these retard players are saying about Favre
Trash9: Oh yea I saw
Trash9: F#!@ Thomas Jones
Dog12: F#!@in moron
Dog12: but u see what one of their other players was saying before this.. right after the game
Trash9: Maybe what?
Dog12: he was like “if he is gunna come to training camp and be part of the team then we want him, but if he doesn’t wanna go through all that with us then he should go somewhere else'
Dog12: some f#!@in 4th year no-name said that
Dog12: if you’re a future hall of famer, and you’re still coming to training camp, then you can say that about Favre
Trash9: Otherewise shut the f#!@ up
Dog12: but if you’re some punk with no legacy, and nothing even resembling a QB behind Favre, you better just be glad you’re not forced to give Favre blowjobs to keep him on your team
Trash9: Hahahaha
Dog12: "If he's dedicated and he wants to come back and do this, and do it the right way ... and be here when we're here in training camp and the minicamps and working out with us ... then I'm fine with it," Rhodes said. "But don't come back if it's going to be half-hearted or he doesn't want to put the time in with us."
Dog12: that’s what Kerry Rhodes said about Favre
Trash9: Clearly Favre has never been halfhearted bout anything
Dog12: another jet spoke anonymously saying that Favre was distant and not a good teammate and shit
Dog12: did u see the clip of him talking to the team before their game against Miami?
Trash9: Naw
Trash9: But apparently the Jets forgot who they were only a year ago
Dog12: it was awesome, he was just like don’t worry about the other things, just go out and play, if it works out it works out, but just play hard.. I love you guys
Trash9: And what these 20 yr old punks want, his old ass to go the club with them?
Trash9: F#!@in selfish punks always tryin to find a scapegoat
Dog12: man people are idiots
Dog12: I’m reading this article right now..
Dog12: The other a vintage Favre interception: A ball thrown off his back foot across the field.
The type of throw for which quarterbacks get benched. But not Favre. He’s a legend. He was just trying to make a play.
Dog12: do they not watch NFL or even look at stats? The reason others get benched and he doesn’t.. is because other idiots do that all the time and do nothing good
Dog12: Favre is a first ballot hall of famer and all time leader in almost every passing category b/c 9 times out of 10 he makes a great play 'trying to make a play'
Dog12: the guy didn’t just fall into MVP awards, career records and Super Bowls by throwing picks all the time and his team bailing him out.. what is wrong with people
Trash9: Right
Trash9: Typical John Clayton-like comment
Trash9: Same people that will defend Romo but hate on Favre
Dog12: right, then later this moron, man I don’t know how we aren’t sports writers...
Trash9: Favre has earned the right
Dog12: says that Homlgren turned Favre into the QB he is today.... or was ten years ago
Dog12: Doesnt that dumb f#!@ know Favre had the second best season of his career just last year
Trash9: Right
Trash9: I hate the mall here, too many good things I wanna buy
Dog12: get Marley and Me
Trash9: Ha now way
Dog12: y not
Trash9: I ain’t tryin to get emo
Dog12: marley and me isnt emo tho
Dog12: its uplifting
Trash9: Yea, so was the holocaust
Dog12: yea, for the Germans
Dog12: Yo, check out this ridiculous profile quote…
Dog12: can hang with me but you gotta have a sense of humor, take a low blow here and there in good fun, and like to party it up, if you wanna join the our squad you gotta hold your own, drink till you drop and be proud that you puked your brains out then drink some more,
Trash9: Whooooooops
Trash9: Man tom’s game is gonna suck
Dog12: y
Trash9: Just for how much id cheer for both teams, it makes me so impartial
Trash9: So I won't really enjoy the game
Dog12: what game
Trash9: Chargers colts
Dog12: I’m colts all the way
Dog12: for two reasons, a) peyton
Dog12: b) if the colts win, they got a good chance to win the Super Bowl
Trash9: As do the chargers
Dog12: if the chargers win, we have no one left to cheer for with a real shot to win it
Trash9: Chargers have as good a shot as anyone
Dog12: ehh i dunno about that
Trash9: Whaat
Trash9: Yea man, they comin in very hot, and record only looks bad, but remember those 2 early season losses that shoulda been wins
Dog12: yea
Dog12: and you know what is weird about this playoff, that gives them more of a chance than usual
Trash9: Hm?
Dog12: there were teams like the Pats and Jets that didnt get in the playoffs that had really, really good records
Dog12: so you’d think like man, the playoffs are loaded this year
Dog12: but there are plenty of wack, bad teams in the playoffs
Trash9: Yea
Trash9: But giants were wack last year and won
Trash9: So anything can happen in the playoffs
Dog12: yea I guess
Dog12: but I mean as I had been saying all year long I thought the giants were really, relly good
Dog12: its near impossible to have a great record in the NFC east, especially last year
Dog12: though the boys went 13-3
Trash9: U did not say all year long that they were really good
Trash9: Just said they didn't suck
Dog12: nah when you would say how wack the giants were cuz u hate them from being in the boys division
Dog12: I was always like they got lots of good players, they were just strugglin to win games
Trash9: Yea cuz they are wack
Trash9: They worse this year
Dog12: like Miami I feel like was actually not as good as New England or the Jets
Dog12: Teneesee is the most over achieving team in league history
Trash9: I agree
Dog12: Chargers are 8-8, the Cardinals have no business in the playoffs
Dog12: Minnesota is trash
Trash9: Feels that way, but their defense is proposterous
Trash9: And great run game
Dog12: Philly is an utter joke getting into the playoffs
Trash9: Philly is better than the giants
Dog12: ur on drugs
Trash9: Behind the cowboys, they were my NFC Super Bowl pick
Dog12: i bet they lose to Sota
Trash9: Ur an idiot
Dog12: i actually wouldn’t be surprised if the wack Falcons made the Super Bowl
Trash9: They suck
Dog12: yea but they basically got a bye playing the Cardinals
Trash9: Cards are better
Dog12: and then they'll play Carolina, in Carolina so they don’t have to travel in the cold
Dog12: dude ur f#!@in retarded if u think the Cards are better than the Falcons
Trash9: They are
Dog12: the cardinals went 8-8 and went 3-5 outside the NFC West
Trash9: So
Dog12: the Cardinals might be the worst team to ever make the playoffs
Trash9: Naw Falcons are
Dog12: the Falcons played in probably the best or second best division this year and went what, 11-5?
Trash9: Don't sice it
Trash9: That division blows balls
Dog12: name two divisions that are definitely better than it
Dog12: and dont say the NFC east
Trash9: NFC east by far
Dog12: you’re an idiot
Trash9: Wow, u sure this ain’t a moron im talkin to
Trash9: Cuz NFC east is clearly better
Dog12: NFC east was soft this year
Dog12: Cowboys were the most underachieving team in NFL history
Dog12: if they woulda been as good as they should have been, then yea
Dog12: but as the NFC east played out, no way
Trash9: ur on drugs
Dog12: the NFC south had a better overall record
Dog12: had two teams win 11 games
Trash9: Whoopdy do
Trash9: Falcons overachieved, they suck
Dog12: did better vs the AFC than the NFC east
Trash9: So we did bettter vs them
Trash9: Dallas beat Tampa with Brad Johnson
Trash9: And Dallas would smack the wack Falcons
Dog12: on Drugs
Trash9: Ur an idiot if u think they are better than Dallas
Dog12: Philly beat ATL by 13, that puts them about 30 points ahead of the bad boys
Trash9: That bears no logic
Dog12: hahaha
Trash9: Falcons also had a cupcake schedule
Trash9: Cowboys schedule was tough as crap
Trash9: Ending the season with the Steelers Giants Ravens and Philly
Dog12: yea but before that Dallas played Skins Niners Seahawks
Trash9: Falcons played West Lib and Cal PA
Dog12: might as well have just chucked 3 wins on the record
Dog12: Cal Pa would loc city the Cowboys
Trash9: Skins were better than anyone the Falcons played
Dog12: you’re an idiot
Trash9: Its true
Dog12: outside their division, the Falcons played 4 playoff teams, the fag-boys played 3
Dog12: and the boys went 0-3 vs playoff teams out of their division
Dog12: Falcons went 2-2 vs playoff teams
Trash9: We still played more playoff teams in total
Dog12: yea and no
Dog12: you guys played 2 playoff teams twice each in your division, only because you guys lost to Philly
Dog12: otherwise Philly wouldn’t be a playoff team
Trash9: U can't say that
Trash9: Philly is a playoff team
Trash9: So that's that
Trash9: And a good playoff team
Trash9: They beat the steelers and us
Dog12: yea I know but what I’m saying is
Dog12: of course you play more playoff teams if two teams in your division made it, bc you didn’t
Dog12: two playoff teams made it in the south too, but the Falcons can’t play themselves
Trash9: Our division is still better
Dog12: no way
Trash9: uhmm, Super Bowl champs and the Eagles
Trash9: And a Cowboys team that still went 9-7
Dog12: Carolina Panthers have the same record as the Giants
Dog12: Falcons have better record than Philly
Trash9: And Fiants beat them
Dog12: and the 3rd and 4th place teams are the same in each
Trash9: And we beat Tampa
Trash9: And Skins beat NO
Trash9: So tiebreaker us
Dog12: haha well a)regardless they are basically even
Trash9: Eagles also beat ATL
Trash9: So we beat that whole division
Dog12: and two all I said was the falcons are way better than the cardinals, and said they played in one of the two toughest divisions
Trash9: How are we not better asshole
Trash9: AFC south failed to win 1 game against us
Trash9: U said name 2 better divisions
Trash9: NFC east is better
Dog12: the NFC east is really the only division you can make a valid argument for, possibly, possibly the AFC east
Dog12: but i say no
Trash9: Not possibly AFC east,for sure
Trash9: U kiddin me
Trash9: And AFC south
Dog12: you’er on drugs
Dog12: the Bills are ten times worse than any team in the NFC south
Dog12: and they don’t have anyone as good as the Panthers
Dog12: AFC south? yea ha
Dog12: with the Jaguars
Dog12: get the eff outta here
Trash9: Ur on f#!@in drugs
Trash9: The Jags sucked this year, but still had to play Titans and Colts 4 times, so that hurt them
Dog12: they still went 3-7 outside the division
Dog12: they blow balls
Dog12: and that’s the whole point..
Trash9: The whole point is ur sicin the NFC south
Dog12: no I’m not
Trash9: And they bout to get locy doked in the Plaaayyyyoffs
Dog12: I said the Falcons had a much better record than the Cards and played in a much tougher division
Dog12: to say the Cardinals are better than the Falcons defies all logic and is insane
Dog12: the Cardinals have the same non-division record as the f#!@in Jaguars
Trash9: I’m just pickin them to win
Dog12: they won 3 games out of the NFC west, get the hell out of here.. that’s the same the Niners won
Trash9: Don't matter, I still think they'll beat the falcons
Dog12: you’re an idiot
Trash9: Ur an idiot for thinkin its insane
Dog12: wait, hahahaha
Dog12: the Niners actually won more non division games than the cardinals
Trash9: Doesn’t make u guys better
Dog12: the Cardinals were one of the ten most ridiculous plays on earth away from missing the playoffs
Trash9: U lost to the cardinals
Dog12: yea on a moron coaching play
Dog12: it was a bigger fluke that they beat us than how Texas lost to Tech
Trash9: Not even close
Trash9: Now ur sicin
Dog12: no, now your sicing
Dog12: Texas dude dropped the interception
Trash9: What, ur on drugs
Dog12: guys drop picks that are in their hands
Dog12: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more often
Dog12: than teams start first and goal on the one, with timeouts, and run out of time with over a minute left and don’t get in and still have timeouts left
Trash9: Droppin a pick from heaven and then that dude breakin 3 tacklers and tip-toeing for a TD
Trash9: Ur on drugs
Trash9: that happens all the time
Trash9: Texas play is imbedded in sports history as one of the craziest series of events, Niners thing is nothin
Trash9: That's happens every week with them
Dog12: first of all don’t ever sice that
Dog12: by next year or the year after, outside of Texas fans no one will ever even remember what happened
Dog12: and second of all that was a bigger thing this year because of the magnitude of the game
Trash9: Ur on drugs
Dog12: I’m on drugs?
Trash9: the game has already been on ESPN classic
Trash9: Ur still drunk aren't you?
Trash9: That's the only way to explain u thinkin the end of the Niners game was more nuts than Tech vs Texas
Dog12: dude u know how many ESPN classic games there are
Dog12: yea it was a sweet game, but don’t say its forever embedded in sports history
Dog12: the Giants Super Bowl winning drive is something that will forever be remembered
Dog12: Doug Flutie's hail mary, the band is on the field.. those are endings that get forever remembered
Trash9: Ok, when that play is nominated for the top plays of the year, it’s something to be remembered
Dog12: yea, of course it’s something to be remembered.. but can you tell me all the plays nominated for top plays at the Espy’s last year
Dog12: or even what last years top college football play was?
Trash9: That play single handedly decided the outcome of a whole season
Trash9: Including the Heisman
Trash9: Yea
Trash9: That sweet catch was
Dog12: that sweet catch
Dog12: way to explain it
Trash9: Was from Mississippii I believe
Dog12: exactly
Dog12: I remember the play your talking about.. but neither of us know what team
Dog12: who it was against or anything
Dog12: and that’s only a year later
Trash9: And Appalachian State
Trash9: Beatin michigan
Trash9: On the blocked FG
Dog12: 1AA beating a D1 top 5 team, obviously memorable
Trash9: What about that school with the million laterals
Dog12: high school play
Dog12: or D3 college or something
Trash9: wasn't high school
Trash9: I thought that was college
Dog12: i dunno, it wasn’t D1.. it was either small college or HS
Trash9: Think it was 1AA or whatever they call it nowadays
Dog12: nah, d3
Dog12: just checked
Trash9: I knew it was college
Dog12: Trinity college
Trash9: Regardless the Texas play was more outrageous than u guys gettin stopped on the goal line
Dog12: but we didn’t get stopped that’s why its insane
Dog12: we ran out of time. having 1:25 or whatever it was and timeouts
Dog12: it wasn’t just a goal line stuff with 2 seconds left
Trash9: Its just along the same absurdity as droppin that pick, but what happened after the dropped pick is what makes it crazier
Dog12: wow ESPN’s poll 'should Brett Favre return to the jets next season?' 72% no
Trash9: I saw that
Trash9: Ridic
Dog12: man Ralph Nadar's quote was sweet too
Trash9: Don't remember
Dog12: the paper told Nadar they wouldn’t cover his presidential bid cuz he had no chance of winning
Dog12: he responded 'then why are you covering the nationals?'
Trash9: Hahaha
Dog12: what a dickhead
Trash9: Sounds like a great guy to me
Trash9: Yo, remember how I said u and **** should have dated last year?
Dog12: yea?
Trash9: Well her fav player in sports is Kobe
Dog12: atta girl
Trash9: Should have moved down here and wifed her last year
Dog12: haha ur on drugs
Dog12: she ain’t cute
Trash9: She ain’t ugly
Dog12: if she was worth me driving down there to wife
Dog12: shed be worth u wifing her urself
Trash9: Haha, she aint my type
Dog12: mine neither
Dog12: aight I gotta go to practice in a few, I'll smoke ya later honkey
And it's fitting that everything comes full circle with us in agreement.
**Disclaimer: We apologize, but this argument took place over a year ago. It was before we cleaned up our filthy mouths. We've edited it for our younger viewers, though.
January 1, 2009
Dog12: Wow.. the jets are officially the worst most retarded team on the planet
Trash9: Why
Dog12: a) firing Mangini i thought was a knee-jerk reaction, and not a good one
Dog12: he’s taken them from basically terrible all the time to a pretty decent contender
Dog12: but b) you see what these retard players are saying about Favre
Trash9: Oh yea I saw
Trash9: F#!@ Thomas Jones
Dog12: F#!@in moron
Dog12: but u see what one of their other players was saying before this.. right after the game
Trash9: Maybe what?
Dog12: he was like “if he is gunna come to training camp and be part of the team then we want him, but if he doesn’t wanna go through all that with us then he should go somewhere else'
Dog12: some f#!@in 4th year no-name said that
Dog12: if you’re a future hall of famer, and you’re still coming to training camp, then you can say that about Favre
Trash9: Otherewise shut the f#!@ up
Dog12: but if you’re some punk with no legacy, and nothing even resembling a QB behind Favre, you better just be glad you’re not forced to give Favre blowjobs to keep him on your team
Trash9: Hahahaha
Dog12: "If he's dedicated and he wants to come back and do this, and do it the right way ... and be here when we're here in training camp and the minicamps and working out with us ... then I'm fine with it," Rhodes said. "But don't come back if it's going to be half-hearted or he doesn't want to put the time in with us."
Dog12: that’s what Kerry Rhodes said about Favre
Trash9: Clearly Favre has never been halfhearted bout anything
Dog12: another jet spoke anonymously saying that Favre was distant and not a good teammate and shit
Dog12: did u see the clip of him talking to the team before their game against Miami?
Trash9: Naw
Trash9: But apparently the Jets forgot who they were only a year ago
Dog12: it was awesome, he was just like don’t worry about the other things, just go out and play, if it works out it works out, but just play hard.. I love you guys
Trash9: And what these 20 yr old punks want, his old ass to go the club with them?
Trash9: F#!@in selfish punks always tryin to find a scapegoat
Dog12: man people are idiots
Dog12: I’m reading this article right now..
Dog12: The other a vintage Favre interception: A ball thrown off his back foot across the field.
The type of throw for which quarterbacks get benched. But not Favre. He’s a legend. He was just trying to make a play.
Dog12: do they not watch NFL or even look at stats? The reason others get benched and he doesn’t.. is because other idiots do that all the time and do nothing good
Dog12: Favre is a first ballot hall of famer and all time leader in almost every passing category b/c 9 times out of 10 he makes a great play 'trying to make a play'
Dog12: the guy didn’t just fall into MVP awards, career records and Super Bowls by throwing picks all the time and his team bailing him out.. what is wrong with people
Trash9: Right
Trash9: Typical John Clayton-like comment
Trash9: Same people that will defend Romo but hate on Favre
Dog12: right, then later this moron, man I don’t know how we aren’t sports writers...
Trash9: Favre has earned the right
Dog12: says that Homlgren turned Favre into the QB he is today.... or was ten years ago
Dog12: Doesnt that dumb f#!@ know Favre had the second best season of his career just last year
Trash9: Right
Trash9: I hate the mall here, too many good things I wanna buy
Dog12: get Marley and Me
Trash9: Ha now way
Dog12: y not
Trash9: I ain’t tryin to get emo
Dog12: marley and me isnt emo tho
Dog12: its uplifting
Trash9: Yea, so was the holocaust
Dog12: yea, for the Germans
Dog12: Yo, check out this ridiculous profile quote…
Dog12: can hang with me but you gotta have a sense of humor, take a low blow here and there in good fun, and like to party it up, if you wanna join the our squad you gotta hold your own, drink till you drop and be proud that you puked your brains out then drink some more,
Trash9: Whooooooops
Trash9: Man tom’s game is gonna suck
Dog12: y
Trash9: Just for how much id cheer for both teams, it makes me so impartial
Trash9: So I won't really enjoy the game
Dog12: what game
Trash9: Chargers colts
Dog12: I’m colts all the way
Dog12: for two reasons, a) peyton
Dog12: b) if the colts win, they got a good chance to win the Super Bowl
Trash9: As do the chargers
Dog12: if the chargers win, we have no one left to cheer for with a real shot to win it
Trash9: Chargers have as good a shot as anyone
Dog12: ehh i dunno about that
Trash9: Whaat
Trash9: Yea man, they comin in very hot, and record only looks bad, but remember those 2 early season losses that shoulda been wins
Dog12: yea
Dog12: and you know what is weird about this playoff, that gives them more of a chance than usual
Trash9: Hm?
Dog12: there were teams like the Pats and Jets that didnt get in the playoffs that had really, really good records
Dog12: so you’d think like man, the playoffs are loaded this year
Dog12: but there are plenty of wack, bad teams in the playoffs
Trash9: Yea
Trash9: But giants were wack last year and won
Trash9: So anything can happen in the playoffs
Dog12: yea I guess
Dog12: but I mean as I had been saying all year long I thought the giants were really, relly good
Dog12: its near impossible to have a great record in the NFC east, especially last year
Dog12: though the boys went 13-3
Trash9: U did not say all year long that they were really good
Trash9: Just said they didn't suck
Dog12: nah when you would say how wack the giants were cuz u hate them from being in the boys division
Dog12: I was always like they got lots of good players, they were just strugglin to win games
Trash9: Yea cuz they are wack
Trash9: They worse this year
Dog12: like Miami I feel like was actually not as good as New England or the Jets
Dog12: Teneesee is the most over achieving team in league history
Trash9: I agree
Dog12: Chargers are 8-8, the Cardinals have no business in the playoffs
Dog12: Minnesota is trash
Trash9: Feels that way, but their defense is proposterous
Trash9: And great run game
Dog12: Philly is an utter joke getting into the playoffs
Trash9: Philly is better than the giants
Dog12: ur on drugs
Trash9: Behind the cowboys, they were my NFC Super Bowl pick
Dog12: i bet they lose to Sota
Trash9: Ur an idiot
Dog12: i actually wouldn’t be surprised if the wack Falcons made the Super Bowl
Trash9: They suck
Dog12: yea but they basically got a bye playing the Cardinals
Trash9: Cards are better
Dog12: and then they'll play Carolina, in Carolina so they don’t have to travel in the cold
Dog12: dude ur f#!@in retarded if u think the Cards are better than the Falcons
Trash9: They are
Dog12: the cardinals went 8-8 and went 3-5 outside the NFC West
Trash9: So
Dog12: the Cardinals might be the worst team to ever make the playoffs
Trash9: Naw Falcons are
Dog12: the Falcons played in probably the best or second best division this year and went what, 11-5?
Trash9: Don't sice it
Trash9: That division blows balls
Dog12: name two divisions that are definitely better than it
Dog12: and dont say the NFC east
Trash9: NFC east by far
Dog12: you’re an idiot
Trash9: Wow, u sure this ain’t a moron im talkin to
Trash9: Cuz NFC east is clearly better
Dog12: NFC east was soft this year
Dog12: Cowboys were the most underachieving team in NFL history
Dog12: if they woulda been as good as they should have been, then yea
Dog12: but as the NFC east played out, no way
Trash9: ur on drugs
Dog12: the NFC south had a better overall record
Dog12: had two teams win 11 games
Trash9: Whoopdy do
Trash9: Falcons overachieved, they suck
Dog12: did better vs the AFC than the NFC east
Trash9: So we did bettter vs them
Trash9: Dallas beat Tampa with Brad Johnson
Trash9: And Dallas would smack the wack Falcons
Dog12: on Drugs
Trash9: Ur an idiot if u think they are better than Dallas
Dog12: Philly beat ATL by 13, that puts them about 30 points ahead of the bad boys
Trash9: That bears no logic
Dog12: hahaha
Trash9: Falcons also had a cupcake schedule
Trash9: Cowboys schedule was tough as crap
Trash9: Ending the season with the Steelers Giants Ravens and Philly
Dog12: yea but before that Dallas played Skins Niners Seahawks
Trash9: Falcons played West Lib and Cal PA
Dog12: might as well have just chucked 3 wins on the record
Dog12: Cal Pa would loc city the Cowboys
Trash9: Skins were better than anyone the Falcons played
Dog12: you’re an idiot
Trash9: Its true
Dog12: outside their division, the Falcons played 4 playoff teams, the fag-boys played 3
Dog12: and the boys went 0-3 vs playoff teams out of their division
Dog12: Falcons went 2-2 vs playoff teams
Trash9: We still played more playoff teams in total
Dog12: yea and no
Dog12: you guys played 2 playoff teams twice each in your division, only because you guys lost to Philly
Dog12: otherwise Philly wouldn’t be a playoff team
Trash9: U can't say that
Trash9: Philly is a playoff team
Trash9: So that's that
Trash9: And a good playoff team
Trash9: They beat the steelers and us
Dog12: yea I know but what I’m saying is
Dog12: of course you play more playoff teams if two teams in your division made it, bc you didn’t
Dog12: two playoff teams made it in the south too, but the Falcons can’t play themselves
Trash9: Our division is still better
Dog12: no way
Trash9: uhmm, Super Bowl champs and the Eagles
Trash9: And a Cowboys team that still went 9-7
Dog12: Carolina Panthers have the same record as the Giants
Dog12: Falcons have better record than Philly
Trash9: And Fiants beat them
Dog12: and the 3rd and 4th place teams are the same in each
Trash9: And we beat Tampa
Trash9: And Skins beat NO
Trash9: So tiebreaker us
Dog12: haha well a)regardless they are basically even
Trash9: Eagles also beat ATL
Trash9: So we beat that whole division
Dog12: and two all I said was the falcons are way better than the cardinals, and said they played in one of the two toughest divisions
Trash9: How are we not better asshole
Trash9: AFC south failed to win 1 game against us
Trash9: U said name 2 better divisions
Trash9: NFC east is better
Dog12: the NFC east is really the only division you can make a valid argument for, possibly, possibly the AFC east
Dog12: but i say no
Trash9: Not possibly AFC east,for sure
Trash9: U kiddin me
Trash9: And AFC south
Dog12: you’er on drugs
Dog12: the Bills are ten times worse than any team in the NFC south
Dog12: and they don’t have anyone as good as the Panthers
Dog12: AFC south? yea ha
Dog12: with the Jaguars
Dog12: get the eff outta here
Trash9: Ur on f#!@in drugs
Trash9: The Jags sucked this year, but still had to play Titans and Colts 4 times, so that hurt them
Dog12: they still went 3-7 outside the division
Dog12: they blow balls
Dog12: and that’s the whole point..
Trash9: The whole point is ur sicin the NFC south
Dog12: no I’m not
Trash9: And they bout to get locy doked in the Plaaayyyyoffs
Dog12: I said the Falcons had a much better record than the Cards and played in a much tougher division
Dog12: to say the Cardinals are better than the Falcons defies all logic and is insane
Dog12: the Cardinals have the same non-division record as the f#!@in Jaguars
Trash9: I’m just pickin them to win
Dog12: they won 3 games out of the NFC west, get the hell out of here.. that’s the same the Niners won
Trash9: Don't matter, I still think they'll beat the falcons
Dog12: you’re an idiot
Trash9: Ur an idiot for thinkin its insane
Dog12: wait, hahahaha
Dog12: the Niners actually won more non division games than the cardinals
Trash9: Doesn’t make u guys better
Dog12: the Cardinals were one of the ten most ridiculous plays on earth away from missing the playoffs
Trash9: U lost to the cardinals
Dog12: yea on a moron coaching play
Dog12: it was a bigger fluke that they beat us than how Texas lost to Tech
Trash9: Not even close
Trash9: Now ur sicin
Dog12: no, now your sicing
Dog12: Texas dude dropped the interception
Trash9: What, ur on drugs
Dog12: guys drop picks that are in their hands
Dog12: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more often
Dog12: than teams start first and goal on the one, with timeouts, and run out of time with over a minute left and don’t get in and still have timeouts left
Trash9: Droppin a pick from heaven and then that dude breakin 3 tacklers and tip-toeing for a TD
Trash9: Ur on drugs
Trash9: that happens all the time
Trash9: Texas play is imbedded in sports history as one of the craziest series of events, Niners thing is nothin
Trash9: That's happens every week with them
Dog12: first of all don’t ever sice that
Dog12: by next year or the year after, outside of Texas fans no one will ever even remember what happened
Dog12: and second of all that was a bigger thing this year because of the magnitude of the game
Trash9: Ur on drugs
Dog12: I’m on drugs?
Trash9: the game has already been on ESPN classic
Trash9: Ur still drunk aren't you?
Trash9: That's the only way to explain u thinkin the end of the Niners game was more nuts than Tech vs Texas
Dog12: dude u know how many ESPN classic games there are
Dog12: yea it was a sweet game, but don’t say its forever embedded in sports history
Dog12: the Giants Super Bowl winning drive is something that will forever be remembered
Dog12: Doug Flutie's hail mary, the band is on the field.. those are endings that get forever remembered
Trash9: Ok, when that play is nominated for the top plays of the year, it’s something to be remembered
Dog12: yea, of course it’s something to be remembered.. but can you tell me all the plays nominated for top plays at the Espy’s last year
Dog12: or even what last years top college football play was?
Trash9: That play single handedly decided the outcome of a whole season
Trash9: Including the Heisman
Trash9: Yea
Trash9: That sweet catch was
Dog12: that sweet catch
Dog12: way to explain it
Trash9: Was from Mississippii I believe
Dog12: exactly
Dog12: I remember the play your talking about.. but neither of us know what team
Dog12: who it was against or anything
Dog12: and that’s only a year later
Trash9: And Appalachian State
Trash9: Beatin michigan
Trash9: On the blocked FG
Dog12: 1AA beating a D1 top 5 team, obviously memorable
Trash9: What about that school with the million laterals
Dog12: high school play
Dog12: or D3 college or something
Trash9: wasn't high school
Trash9: I thought that was college
Dog12: i dunno, it wasn’t D1.. it was either small college or HS
Trash9: Think it was 1AA or whatever they call it nowadays
Dog12: nah, d3
Dog12: just checked
Trash9: I knew it was college
Dog12: Trinity college
Trash9: Regardless the Texas play was more outrageous than u guys gettin stopped on the goal line
Dog12: but we didn’t get stopped that’s why its insane
Dog12: we ran out of time. having 1:25 or whatever it was and timeouts
Dog12: it wasn’t just a goal line stuff with 2 seconds left
Trash9: Its just along the same absurdity as droppin that pick, but what happened after the dropped pick is what makes it crazier
Dog12: wow ESPN’s poll 'should Brett Favre return to the jets next season?' 72% no
Trash9: I saw that
Trash9: Ridic
Dog12: man Ralph Nadar's quote was sweet too
Trash9: Don't remember
Dog12: the paper told Nadar they wouldn’t cover his presidential bid cuz he had no chance of winning
Dog12: he responded 'then why are you covering the nationals?'
Trash9: Hahaha
Dog12: what a dickhead
Trash9: Sounds like a great guy to me
Trash9: Yo, remember how I said u and **** should have dated last year?
Dog12: yea?
Trash9: Well her fav player in sports is Kobe
Dog12: atta girl
Trash9: Should have moved down here and wifed her last year
Dog12: haha ur on drugs
Dog12: she ain’t cute
Trash9: She ain’t ugly
Dog12: if she was worth me driving down there to wife
Dog12: shed be worth u wifing her urself
Trash9: Haha, she aint my type
Dog12: mine neither
Dog12: aight I gotta go to practice in a few, I'll smoke ya later honkey
And it's fitting that everything comes full circle with us in agreement.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The More You Know-NBC
Last week we played the roles of Chip N’ Dale in an attempt to Rescue Ranger all you schmucks from the radio killer. Today, we will continue the process of removing your musical training wheels by giving you a solid foundation of what to look for in an artist or song.
So, what distinguishes crappy artists and songs from musical bliss? Dictionary.com defines music as “an art of sound in time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, harmony, and color.” This definition does a tremendous job in defining our concept of “good music.” It begins with the sound. The created noise must be aesthetically pleasing to the ear. This is as obvious as not buttf#*king the kids. However, so many artists fail to deliver the number one criterion that defines music.
Now that we have established the grand notion that music must sound good for it to be enjoyable, let us move on. The provided definition goes on to state that music is an expression of ideas and emotions. This is where our musical fortitude separates us from the rest of the zombieeeeees. Lyrics are of utmost importance. If music is an attempt to express one’s ideas and emotions, then we, as an audience, must have some connection to what we are listening to. What is your music telling you? If you can connect to a song referencing simple minded ventures such as getting fu*ked up, blowing coke, and having sex with every single girl in the entire world, then we pity the fool. I mean really Lil Wayne, every single girl? You know what kinds of lagoon creatures are roaming this earth? I recently had the unfortunate opportunity to listen to LMFAO’s single, Shots. This song was the epitome of expressionless music with an empty and vulgar message. Any song that makes an attempt to list the plethora of alcoholic shots offered by your local bar must be avoided, unless, of course, you love Buttery Nipples. So please pay attention to the message your music attempts to deliver. Is this message worth listening to?
Music is a powerful outlet to express oneself. It is also soup for the soul. Be weary of what you are feeding yourself. Crappy music can and will cause indigestion and diarrhea.
Swing by next Tuesday for a more in-depth look at some artists of particular interest.
So, what distinguishes crappy artists and songs from musical bliss? Dictionary.com defines music as “an art of sound in time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, harmony, and color.” This definition does a tremendous job in defining our concept of “good music.” It begins with the sound. The created noise must be aesthetically pleasing to the ear. This is as obvious as not buttf#*king the kids. However, so many artists fail to deliver the number one criterion that defines music.
Now that we have established the grand notion that music must sound good for it to be enjoyable, let us move on. The provided definition goes on to state that music is an expression of ideas and emotions. This is where our musical fortitude separates us from the rest of the zombieeeeees. Lyrics are of utmost importance. If music is an attempt to express one’s ideas and emotions, then we, as an audience, must have some connection to what we are listening to. What is your music telling you? If you can connect to a song referencing simple minded ventures such as getting fu*ked up, blowing coke, and having sex with every single girl in the entire world, then we pity the fool. I mean really Lil Wayne, every single girl? You know what kinds of lagoon creatures are roaming this earth? I recently had the unfortunate opportunity to listen to LMFAO’s single, Shots. This song was the epitome of expressionless music with an empty and vulgar message. Any song that makes an attempt to list the plethora of alcoholic shots offered by your local bar must be avoided, unless, of course, you love Buttery Nipples. So please pay attention to the message your music attempts to deliver. Is this message worth listening to?
Music is a powerful outlet to express oneself. It is also soup for the soul. Be weary of what you are feeding yourself. Crappy music can and will cause indigestion and diarrhea.
Swing by next Tuesday for a more in-depth look at some artists of particular interest.
Monday, March 8, 2010
"It's Awesome, Baby! With a Capital A!" - Dick Vitale
March is upon us!!! Naturally, this means today's article will center around recapping the recent events in college basketball, as well as previewing some March Madness action. Below you'll find a guide to every conference in the country, starting with the teams who will be dancing with the stars after already having claimed their conference titles.
Ivy League - The only conference that stresses academics is also the only conference that stresses regular season conference play. Cornell earned the automatic bid by winning the regular season championship.
Atlantic Sun - We anticipated this would be the most up in the air (no, not THAT Up in the Air) small college tourney. The top 4 teams all tied for 1st at 14-6 in league. Conference tiebreakers eventually awarded the #1 seed to the team with the worst overall record (Lipscomb 17-12). The 4th place team actually had the best overall record (19-10 Campbell). That being said, you knew it was going to be a wild weekend. Only ONE of the top 4 seeds would make the semi's and the finals would see #5 East Tennessee outlast #6 Mercer. This tournament was the epitome of small college basketball: exciting and unexpected.
Big South - Winthrop is King of the Castle in the Big South. All they did was destroy a Radford (they have the nation's #1 Rebounder and #12 Scorer) team in the semi's. They then went on to post a double digit win over Coastal Carolina on CC's home floor.
Missouri Valley - Usually, this is the best mid-major tournament. Unfortunately, Northern Iowa was just too good this year. They blasted through their opponents faster than Andy in the 40 Year Old Virgin and won every game by at least 15 points. The only thing up for debate is how high of a seed they'll earn.
Ohio Valley - No surprise here either. Murray St. became the first team to reach 30 wins and only had one game decided by single digits en route to earning the automatic bid.
Onto the tournaments that will be handing out automatic bids tonight.
West Coast - What happens in Vegas usually causes itching. Unfortunately, there is no cream to cure the itch to get into the NCAA tournament. If the favorites survive in Sin City, we will be treated to the best conference championship game of the year. Two 25-win heavyweights will go toe to toe for bragging rights. The good news is that the loser of this game SHOULD get an at large bid. Unfortunately, a Saint Mary's loss will leave them sweating out a NCAA birth till Selection Sunday,
CAA - Old Dominion managed to survive an overtime scare from Virginia Commonwealth in VCU's backyard. By doing so, they all but guaranteed themselves a spot in the tournament. Since their fate is decided, the sentimental favorite has to be William & Mary. The Tribe are a single win away from removing themselves from a short list of teams that have never made the NCAA Tournament (Army, Citadel, Northwestern & St. Francis (NY).
MAAC - Siena should win against Fairfield. They've been the best team in the conference all year and have the best shot at winning a first-round game in the NCAA's. Plus the Saints already won the Superbowl so why can't they beat Fairfield? Different sport, Different team, Same Who Dat Nation.
Southern - Wofford and Appalachian St. have both breezed through the tournament thus far. This will be the best game that nobody watches.
These three leagues will hand out bids mid-week.
Summit - Oakland and IUPUI (Couldn't the founders of this school have found a better name?) will likely meet in the finals. Based on their head to head games, we're going with the long-school-name Jaguars.
Sunbelt - If Western Kentucky can get by #1 Troy in the semi's, they've got a great chance to repeat their NCAA tournament magic.
Horizon - Is there any pick besides Butler? They've won 50% more league games than 2nd place Wright State.
The following conferences won't hand out their bids until the weekend, but you can get a head-start with our quick previews of each league.
America East - We anticipated #2 Vermont playing the top-seed Stony Brook in the finals and thought Vermont would win. Now that they are playing #4 Boston, we really like Vermont to pick up their 25th win and punch their ticket in the process.
ACC - It's Duke's tournament to lose in a mediocre ACC field this year. Sure, there are a couple teams capable of knocking off Duke and winning the tournament. But truthfully, there is a greater chance that Bruno bangs a female.
Atlantic 10 - We would like to see two things happen in this tournament. First, we'd like to see #5 Rhode Island catch lightning in a bottle and roll off 4 straight wins to win the championship. Second, we'd like the people running the A-10 to take a math class. Maybe they'd change the conference to Atlantic 14 to appropriately represent the 14 schools in the league.
Big East - Syracuse is the best team in the best league, and they typically play well at Madison Square Garden. They'll need to outlast a Gajiliion contenders. All of top 8 teams have at least 20-wins (Villanova, WVU, Pitt, Marquette, Louisville, Georgetown, Notre Dame). There's nothing we can tell you that anyone with a pulse doesn't already know. This tournament is really, really good.
Big 10 - Two weeks ago, Purdue was the pick. But without team-leader Robbie Hummel, Ohio State and Michigan State claim favorites. However, the tournament is in Indianapolis, giving them a fighter's chance. If Evan Turner is who we thought he was, the Buckeyes will win. If he's not, Tom Izzo won't lettemoffthehook and the Spartans will cut down the nets.
Big 12 - Kansas is the obvious pick. But rivals Kansas State, Baylor and Texas all have more than enough talent to win the championship.
Big West - We'll be honest. This is one league we know little about. We like #2 Pacific, but as far as Big West predictions, we're about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop.
Big Sky - We're renaming this the Ringer conference. If Northern Colorado fails to beat top seed Weber St. they'll earn the distinction of being the team with the most wins (25) that fails to make the NCAA's. Johnny Knoxville accomplished a greater feat by beating Jimmy for the Gold medal.
Conference USA - For the first time in what feels like centuries, C-USA will have an open tournament race. It's in Tulsa, so you can't rule out the #5 Seed "home-team". If UTEP can win the semi-final on the road, they'll earn themselves a pretty nice seed on Saturday.
MAC - Akron and Kent State are dead even, 12-3, 22-8. So naturally, going with the team that has a "home-court" advantage would make sense. But we are both geographically challenged and unaware of which Ohio city is closer to the tournament site (Cleveland). We'll take Akron, but if Kent State wins we just might edit this post to make ourselves look smarter.
NEC - Another league where top-seeds get home games. Robert Morris has a share of the "regular season championship" and sole-possession of "best NEC coach" so they get our pick. Whatever our pick is worth.
MEAC - Morgan State should have little trouble winning this tournament. There are only two other schools with winning records. Apparently no one in this league knows you play to win the games. Hello! Even with their 25 wins, they will probably be a one and done 16 seed unfortunately.
Mountain West - Has to be one of the most underrated conferences. It's out west and gets little media attention. Truth is, the MWC is actually the best league left of Texas this season, and it's not even close. New Mexico and BYU could be 30-win teams playing in the finals. In addition, the league will still have another pair of almost-25-win teams in UNLV and San Diego State. The tourney is in Las Vegas, which shifts the "home-court" advantage considering the non-basketball distractions. BYU's players are the least likely to succumb to those temptations, so we're picking the "Y".
PAC 10 - Has to be the worst year for this league ever. UCLA and Stanford have losing records. Arizona is at .500. Only 3 teams have 20 regular season wins. I'm not Joe Lunardi, but I can't ever remember a BCS conference only getting one bid. Except for Cal, will anyone else from the Pac 10 make the tournament? Playoffs? You kiddin' me?
SEC - We really can't see John Wall & the Cats losing this one. It is in Tennessee, though. This gives the Creamsicle suit wearing Bruce Pearl and his Vols a chance at the championship.
Southland - Two colleges named after Southern Guys will most likely battle for the championship. We heard Sam Houston was a jerk, and would absolutely love it if Stone Cold Stephen F. Austin University gave Sammy the Stunner in the finals.
SWAC - The nickname for this tournament is the "play-in conference". In the nine years of play-in games, the SWAC has been involved 4 times. That will likely be the case this year. The "best" team standing in the way of Jackson State is 16-13 Prairie View A&M. Tough to build a quality RPI. We'll be rooting for the SWAC to pull off the first ever 16 vs. 1 upset.
WAC - Utah State is one of the best small college programs in the country. They won 30 games last year and almost beat Marquette in the tournament. They've also won at least 23 games every year this decade. They'll be challenged by 3 other 20-win teams, but we like the Aggies in this one.
Patriot - We started with an academic conference, so it's fitting we end with the second Ivy league conference. They only have two teams with winning records. That usually means the 1st place team is a lock. But Lehigh hardly has breathing room at the top over Bucknell and Lafayette. Lehigh lost to both of those teams this season on the road, but dismantled both of them at home. Good thing for Lehigh then that the Patriot league rewards home games to its top seeded teams. Welcome to the Big Dance, Lehigh Mountain Hawks.
We're only a week away from the most exciting tournament of the year.
Ivy League - The only conference that stresses academics is also the only conference that stresses regular season conference play. Cornell earned the automatic bid by winning the regular season championship.
Atlantic Sun - We anticipated this would be the most up in the air (no, not THAT Up in the Air) small college tourney. The top 4 teams all tied for 1st at 14-6 in league. Conference tiebreakers eventually awarded the #1 seed to the team with the worst overall record (Lipscomb 17-12). The 4th place team actually had the best overall record (19-10 Campbell). That being said, you knew it was going to be a wild weekend. Only ONE of the top 4 seeds would make the semi's and the finals would see #5 East Tennessee outlast #6 Mercer. This tournament was the epitome of small college basketball: exciting and unexpected.
Big South - Winthrop is King of the Castle in the Big South. All they did was destroy a Radford (they have the nation's #1 Rebounder and #12 Scorer) team in the semi's. They then went on to post a double digit win over Coastal Carolina on CC's home floor.
Missouri Valley - Usually, this is the best mid-major tournament. Unfortunately, Northern Iowa was just too good this year. They blasted through their opponents faster than Andy in the 40 Year Old Virgin and won every game by at least 15 points. The only thing up for debate is how high of a seed they'll earn.
Ohio Valley - No surprise here either. Murray St. became the first team to reach 30 wins and only had one game decided by single digits en route to earning the automatic bid.
Onto the tournaments that will be handing out automatic bids tonight.
West Coast - What happens in Vegas usually causes itching. Unfortunately, there is no cream to cure the itch to get into the NCAA tournament. If the favorites survive in Sin City, we will be treated to the best conference championship game of the year. Two 25-win heavyweights will go toe to toe for bragging rights. The good news is that the loser of this game SHOULD get an at large bid. Unfortunately, a Saint Mary's loss will leave them sweating out a NCAA birth till Selection Sunday,
CAA - Old Dominion managed to survive an overtime scare from Virginia Commonwealth in VCU's backyard. By doing so, they all but guaranteed themselves a spot in the tournament. Since their fate is decided, the sentimental favorite has to be William & Mary. The Tribe are a single win away from removing themselves from a short list of teams that have never made the NCAA Tournament (Army, Citadel, Northwestern & St. Francis (NY).
MAAC - Siena should win against Fairfield. They've been the best team in the conference all year and have the best shot at winning a first-round game in the NCAA's. Plus the Saints already won the Superbowl so why can't they beat Fairfield? Different sport, Different team, Same Who Dat Nation.
Southern - Wofford and Appalachian St. have both breezed through the tournament thus far. This will be the best game that nobody watches.
These three leagues will hand out bids mid-week.
Summit - Oakland and IUPUI (Couldn't the founders of this school have found a better name?) will likely meet in the finals. Based on their head to head games, we're going with the long-school-name Jaguars.
Sunbelt - If Western Kentucky can get by #1 Troy in the semi's, they've got a great chance to repeat their NCAA tournament magic.
Horizon - Is there any pick besides Butler? They've won 50% more league games than 2nd place Wright State.
The following conferences won't hand out their bids until the weekend, but you can get a head-start with our quick previews of each league.
America East - We anticipated #2 Vermont playing the top-seed Stony Brook in the finals and thought Vermont would win. Now that they are playing #4 Boston, we really like Vermont to pick up their 25th win and punch their ticket in the process.
ACC - It's Duke's tournament to lose in a mediocre ACC field this year. Sure, there are a couple teams capable of knocking off Duke and winning the tournament. But truthfully, there is a greater chance that Bruno bangs a female.
Atlantic 10 - We would like to see two things happen in this tournament. First, we'd like to see #5 Rhode Island catch lightning in a bottle and roll off 4 straight wins to win the championship. Second, we'd like the people running the A-10 to take a math class. Maybe they'd change the conference to Atlantic 14 to appropriately represent the 14 schools in the league.
Big East - Syracuse is the best team in the best league, and they typically play well at Madison Square Garden. They'll need to outlast a Gajiliion contenders. All of top 8 teams have at least 20-wins (Villanova, WVU, Pitt, Marquette, Louisville, Georgetown, Notre Dame). There's nothing we can tell you that anyone with a pulse doesn't already know. This tournament is really, really good.
Big 10 - Two weeks ago, Purdue was the pick. But without team-leader Robbie Hummel, Ohio State and Michigan State claim favorites. However, the tournament is in Indianapolis, giving them a fighter's chance. If Evan Turner is who we thought he was, the Buckeyes will win. If he's not, Tom Izzo won't lettemoffthehook and the Spartans will cut down the nets.
Big 12 - Kansas is the obvious pick. But rivals Kansas State, Baylor and Texas all have more than enough talent to win the championship.
Big West - We'll be honest. This is one league we know little about. We like #2 Pacific, but as far as Big West predictions, we're about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop.
Big Sky - We're renaming this the Ringer conference. If Northern Colorado fails to beat top seed Weber St. they'll earn the distinction of being the team with the most wins (25) that fails to make the NCAA's. Johnny Knoxville accomplished a greater feat by beating Jimmy for the Gold medal.
Conference USA - For the first time in what feels like centuries, C-USA will have an open tournament race. It's in Tulsa, so you can't rule out the #5 Seed "home-team". If UTEP can win the semi-final on the road, they'll earn themselves a pretty nice seed on Saturday.
MAC - Akron and Kent State are dead even, 12-3, 22-8. So naturally, going with the team that has a "home-court" advantage would make sense. But we are both geographically challenged and unaware of which Ohio city is closer to the tournament site (Cleveland). We'll take Akron, but if Kent State wins we just might edit this post to make ourselves look smarter.
NEC - Another league where top-seeds get home games. Robert Morris has a share of the "regular season championship" and sole-possession of "best NEC coach" so they get our pick. Whatever our pick is worth.
MEAC - Morgan State should have little trouble winning this tournament. There are only two other schools with winning records. Apparently no one in this league knows you play to win the games. Hello! Even with their 25 wins, they will probably be a one and done 16 seed unfortunately.
Mountain West - Has to be one of the most underrated conferences. It's out west and gets little media attention. Truth is, the MWC is actually the best league left of Texas this season, and it's not even close. New Mexico and BYU could be 30-win teams playing in the finals. In addition, the league will still have another pair of almost-25-win teams in UNLV and San Diego State. The tourney is in Las Vegas, which shifts the "home-court" advantage considering the non-basketball distractions. BYU's players are the least likely to succumb to those temptations, so we're picking the "Y".
PAC 10 - Has to be the worst year for this league ever. UCLA and Stanford have losing records. Arizona is at .500. Only 3 teams have 20 regular season wins. I'm not Joe Lunardi, but I can't ever remember a BCS conference only getting one bid. Except for Cal, will anyone else from the Pac 10 make the tournament? Playoffs? You kiddin' me?
SEC - We really can't see John Wall & the Cats losing this one. It is in Tennessee, though. This gives the Creamsicle suit wearing Bruce Pearl and his Vols a chance at the championship.
Southland - Two colleges named after Southern Guys will most likely battle for the championship. We heard Sam Houston was a jerk, and would absolutely love it if Stone Cold Stephen F. Austin University gave Sammy the Stunner in the finals.
SWAC - The nickname for this tournament is the "play-in conference". In the nine years of play-in games, the SWAC has been involved 4 times. That will likely be the case this year. The "best" team standing in the way of Jackson State is 16-13 Prairie View A&M. Tough to build a quality RPI. We'll be rooting for the SWAC to pull off the first ever 16 vs. 1 upset.
WAC - Utah State is one of the best small college programs in the country. They won 30 games last year and almost beat Marquette in the tournament. They've also won at least 23 games every year this decade. They'll be challenged by 3 other 20-win teams, but we like the Aggies in this one.
Patriot - We started with an academic conference, so it's fitting we end with the second Ivy league conference. They only have two teams with winning records. That usually means the 1st place team is a lock. But Lehigh hardly has breathing room at the top over Bucknell and Lafayette. Lehigh lost to both of those teams this season on the road, but dismantled both of them at home. Good thing for Lehigh then that the Patriot league rewards home games to its top seeded teams. Welcome to the Big Dance, Lehigh Mountain Hawks.
We're only a week away from the most exciting tournament of the year.
Friday, March 5, 2010
"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gunna get" - Forrest Gump
Usually, we give you guys some updates on our screenwriting efforts on Friday. By next weekend, we should have a completely polished script. We hope to ship it out soon to be critiqued. Since that will give us a lot to talk about for next week, we opted for a slightly different Filmmaking Friday.
Combined, we probably watch at least 8-10 movies a week. Naturally, our love for films played a huge part in our decision to write a movie. But it isn't just the quantity we watch, it's the range in quality. We watch all the critically acclaimed films that are expected to deliver such as, Slumdog Millionaire, The Dark Knight, or Requiem for a Dream. But, we seek out the unknown movies as well. More often than not, you can judge a book by its cover. The movies that look like they suck, usually do. Movies like Nothing, The Playaz Court, and Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist turn out to be as painful to watch as you expected. But if you continue to look past the covers, you happen to discover some gems like: The Mist, Lars and the Real Girl, Snow Angels, Little Manhattan, and Half Nelson. We didn't really expect much from those movies but, they ended up being some pretty enjoyable flicks.
Seeing those "hidden gem" movies has helped us tremendously in the screenwriting process. Movies don't need a huge budget or an all-star cast to tell an amazing story. Those things certainly help the film reach a wider audience; however, the building block behind all great movies is an outstanding script, with amazing characters. Every movie that evoked the thought, "I immediately regret this decision!", had characters we didn't care about. Our concern was not whether the characters lived or died, but if we would live through the pain to see another movie. The commonality amongst those pleasant surprises is that you actually find yourself rooting for the hero. We want this protagonist to get the girl, beat his addiction, or save everyone's life. The story can have a million twists, or just be a simple straight-forward plot. It really all comes down to whether or not we like the characters. With that said, the heroes in our movie are based around our lives. Since everyone loves us, you will no doubt love the characters in our movie.
Here are some movies that we've seen recently (both in theaters and DVD). Don't worry, there aren't any plot spoilers so you can read and still watch the movie.
Youth in Revolt - We don't know how Michael Cera does it, but it just adds fuel to our statement about characters. He keeps playing a lost, dorky teen that's awkward with girls. But people sympathize with that character over and over and that's why his movies have been so successful.
Extract - It might have been the expectations of this being the "next" Office Space that left this movie in the underachieving column. It was a solid comedy with some funny scenes. But when it starts off being compared to one of the most well-written, genius comedies of all time, disaster is usually imminent.
Zombieland - Took a refreshing approach and spin on an overplayed Zombie genre. Their use of comedy was on point and Bill Murray's cameo was stellar. As if mixing in horror and comedy wasn't enough, Zombieland also sprinkled in some romance. The movie left us quite fulfilled.
Role Models - We've seen this movie several times, but just re-watched it again recently. Two lines from this movie are all that needs mentioned: "Well, obviously we're not supposed to butt**** these kids." And "Dude, I just spent the afternoon in Middle-earth with glee-glop and the floopty-doos". Phenomenal.
Invention of Lying - One of the most puzzling movies we've watched in a while. Very original, high-concept premise. Plenty of humorous scenes with great writing. Solid cast. You really, really root for the hero. But it just didn't deliver. There was just something off about this comedy and we can't figure it out.
The Final (Almost Final) Destination - The real title doesn't matter. This movie was such a great original concept that should have never had a sequel. It especially shouldn't have had poly-quels. Don't see it.
Enjoy your weekend.
Combined, we probably watch at least 8-10 movies a week. Naturally, our love for films played a huge part in our decision to write a movie. But it isn't just the quantity we watch, it's the range in quality. We watch all the critically acclaimed films that are expected to deliver such as, Slumdog Millionaire, The Dark Knight, or Requiem for a Dream. But, we seek out the unknown movies as well. More often than not, you can judge a book by its cover. The movies that look like they suck, usually do. Movies like Nothing, The Playaz Court, and Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist turn out to be as painful to watch as you expected. But if you continue to look past the covers, you happen to discover some gems like: The Mist, Lars and the Real Girl, Snow Angels, Little Manhattan, and Half Nelson. We didn't really expect much from those movies but, they ended up being some pretty enjoyable flicks.
Seeing those "hidden gem" movies has helped us tremendously in the screenwriting process. Movies don't need a huge budget or an all-star cast to tell an amazing story. Those things certainly help the film reach a wider audience; however, the building block behind all great movies is an outstanding script, with amazing characters. Every movie that evoked the thought, "I immediately regret this decision!", had characters we didn't care about. Our concern was not whether the characters lived or died, but if we would live through the pain to see another movie. The commonality amongst those pleasant surprises is that you actually find yourself rooting for the hero. We want this protagonist to get the girl, beat his addiction, or save everyone's life. The story can have a million twists, or just be a simple straight-forward plot. It really all comes down to whether or not we like the characters. With that said, the heroes in our movie are based around our lives. Since everyone loves us, you will no doubt love the characters in our movie.
Here are some movies that we've seen recently (both in theaters and DVD). Don't worry, there aren't any plot spoilers so you can read and still watch the movie.
Youth in Revolt - We don't know how Michael Cera does it, but it just adds fuel to our statement about characters. He keeps playing a lost, dorky teen that's awkward with girls. But people sympathize with that character over and over and that's why his movies have been so successful.
Extract - It might have been the expectations of this being the "next" Office Space that left this movie in the underachieving column. It was a solid comedy with some funny scenes. But when it starts off being compared to one of the most well-written, genius comedies of all time, disaster is usually imminent.
Zombieland - Took a refreshing approach and spin on an overplayed Zombie genre. Their use of comedy was on point and Bill Murray's cameo was stellar. As if mixing in horror and comedy wasn't enough, Zombieland also sprinkled in some romance. The movie left us quite fulfilled.
Role Models - We've seen this movie several times, but just re-watched it again recently. Two lines from this movie are all that needs mentioned: "Well, obviously we're not supposed to butt**** these kids." And "Dude, I just spent the afternoon in Middle-earth with glee-glop and the floopty-doos". Phenomenal.
Invention of Lying - One of the most puzzling movies we've watched in a while. Very original, high-concept premise. Plenty of humorous scenes with great writing. Solid cast. You really, really root for the hero. But it just didn't deliver. There was just something off about this comedy and we can't figure it out.
The Final (Almost Final) Destination - The real title doesn't matter. This movie was such a great original concept that should have never had a sequel. It especially shouldn't have had poly-quels. Don't see it.
Enjoy your weekend.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Size doesn't matter...
Unfortunately we had to scramble to write today’s article. Believe it or not, we are both unwillingly employed. Our jobs happen to cock block us from having fun more often than Johnny Drama. This being said, I would like to take a minute, just sit right there, to tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air. My apologies. I’m going to take a minute to thank a few people. Yea, that’s what I’m doing.
To our new followers:
Thank you “Big” Jim Ewing and Jeff “Jeffrey Todd” Goduti. Also, thanks to Jeff for making “Idiot B’s” hockey playing season possible, as well as ensuring he always gets paid on time.
A special thanks to our friends @SuddenDeath2009. They've really helped spread the word about what we are doing, so click here if you want to check out some other guys with a great vision.
We would also like to apologize for the length of today’s article. We realize it’s shorter than that naked Asian guy on The Hangover, but we really must get to work. Come back tomorrow for a better fix to your Blog addiction.
To our new followers:
Thank you “Big” Jim Ewing and Jeff “Jeffrey Todd” Goduti. Also, thanks to Jeff for making “Idiot B’s” hockey playing season possible, as well as ensuring he always gets paid on time.
A special thanks to our friends @SuddenDeath2009. They've really helped spread the word about what we are doing, so click here if you want to check out some other guys with a great vision.
We would also like to apologize for the length of today’s article. We realize it’s shorter than that naked Asian guy on The Hangover, but we really must get to work. Come back tomorrow for a better fix to your Blog addiction.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
"You know what really grinds my gears" - Peter Griffin
Below you'll find a list of things that, despite their insignificance, really get under our skin.
**Disclaimer: Our close friends and girlfriends have often committed these heinous acts, so please don't take offense. Heck, we're even guilty of a few of these sometimes.
Here's what really grinds our gears:
1) Status Updates, Away Messages and Profiles that include the following:
1a) Celebrating getting drunk like it's a national holiday. Newsflash: nearly every college kid in the country is drinking this weekend. No one sees your update and thinks, "wow, this kid is drinking 3 kegs from 8am til midnight, I wanna hang out with this d-bag".
1b) Girls that have dorky things like "we live for the nights we don't remember with friends we'll never forget."
1c) Guys that have things like "bro's before hoes" are equally upsetting.
1d) Anyone over the age of 12 that types things like: "yo dis b dat d00d that the b!tchez luv 2 mess wit".
1e) Listing the next week of your life as such: "Study, Test, Work, Working out, Back to study, Test Part 2, Drinking, Home to see my fam, Doctor's appointment, Zumba, Dinner with besties, Drinking again, Catching up on much needed sleep". Really? You're not coming back to the computer sometime between now and next millennium? Do everyone a favor, keep it to two events or less. If you go past that you end up with things like "gym, tan, laundry" - WHOOPS.
2a) Clubs that somehow decide that shredded trucker hats, dip-spit-stained jeans, and overalls are "appropriate attire", but fitted hats aren't allowed.
2b) In keeping with closet-racism: Black guys that secretly hate all white people based on past happenings. And white people that stereotype things like basketball, Jordans, and hip-hop as "black". If a white guy chewing a blade of grass says something ignorant to you or a black dude pisses you off, you can dislike that one dude. But please be nice to us and the other 200 million Americans that haven't met you yet.
3) When a skinny girl fishes for a compliment by saying she's "too fat to wear this", and when a girl that actually is too fat to wear that outfit, wears it.
4) Girls that use profanity.
5) Girls that incorrectly think they know more about sports than us. If you want to watch the game, cool. You can even say things like "Peyton Manning is a great QB". But if you decide to mimic Erin Andrews or Hannah Storm, you're watching the game somewhere else.
6) Sweeping blanket statements like: "She's always done that" or "He never went there".
7) The whole city of Pittsburgh.
**Disclaimer: Our close friends and girlfriends have often committed these heinous acts, so please don't take offense. Heck, we're even guilty of a few of these sometimes.
Here's what really grinds our gears:
1) Status Updates, Away Messages and Profiles that include the following:
1a) Celebrating getting drunk like it's a national holiday. Newsflash: nearly every college kid in the country is drinking this weekend. No one sees your update and thinks, "wow, this kid is drinking 3 kegs from 8am til midnight, I wanna hang out with this d-bag".
1b) Girls that have dorky things like "we live for the nights we don't remember with friends we'll never forget."
1c) Guys that have things like "bro's before hoes" are equally upsetting.
1d) Anyone over the age of 12 that types things like: "yo dis b dat d00d that the b!tchez luv 2 mess wit".
1e) Listing the next week of your life as such: "Study, Test, Work, Working out, Back to study, Test Part 2, Drinking, Home to see my fam, Doctor's appointment, Zumba, Dinner with besties, Drinking again, Catching up on much needed sleep". Really? You're not coming back to the computer sometime between now and next millennium? Do everyone a favor, keep it to two events or less. If you go past that you end up with things like "gym, tan, laundry" - WHOOPS.
2a) Clubs that somehow decide that shredded trucker hats, dip-spit-stained jeans, and overalls are "appropriate attire", but fitted hats aren't allowed.
2b) In keeping with closet-racism: Black guys that secretly hate all white people based on past happenings. And white people that stereotype things like basketball, Jordans, and hip-hop as "black". If a white guy chewing a blade of grass says something ignorant to you or a black dude pisses you off, you can dislike that one dude. But please be nice to us and the other 200 million Americans that haven't met you yet.
3) When a skinny girl fishes for a compliment by saying she's "too fat to wear this", and when a girl that actually is too fat to wear that outfit, wears it.
4) Girls that use profanity.
5) Girls that incorrectly think they know more about sports than us. If you want to watch the game, cool. You can even say things like "Peyton Manning is a great QB". But if you decide to mimic Erin Andrews or Hannah Storm, you're watching the game somewhere else.
6) Sweeping blanket statements like: "She's always done that" or "He never went there".
7) The whole city of Pittsburgh.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
"The only way to find out what story you're in, is to determine what stories you're not in" - Stranger Than Fiction
On Tuesdays, we're aiming to nudge you in the direction of musical bliss. It will take several months for us to discuss all of the artists you should be listening to and why. So we'll give you a head-start by letting you know what you should absolutely avoid. I've been unable to listen to my iPod while driving for basically the last three months, so I've been stuck listening to the radio. We wish Video did kill the Radio Star. During my iPod-less tenure, I think I've only heard seven songs: "Party in the USA", "Tik Tok", "Fireflies", "Whatcha Say", "Evacuate the Dance Floor", "Bad Romance", "3", and "Empire State of Mind". I'm not even putting links to those songs, because if you've managed to avoid them then I don't want to expose you to the Swine Flu.
Four of those songs are unforgivably abysmal and two of them were kind of cool but have lost their touch. Only "Empire State of Mind" is a good song. But when it's played once every seven seconds, it starts to sound like this. I'm not sure if the radio has always been so painfully poor, or if it is simply my grand fortune that it just sucks balls now that I am without an iPod. As inconvenient as my luck happens to be, I'm going to assume that the song selection on the radio has sucked longer than the LA Clippers.I can say, with certainty, that if the majority of your music listening comes from the radio, your ears are being gang-raped by a gaggle of silverback gorrillas.
Writing this almost seems pointless, because I can't imagine anyone listens to the radio and digs these songs. However, radio stations are miraculously in business. It's sad when numerous people answer the question, "what kind of music do you listen to?" with "oh, whatever is on the radio". Relying on the radio for quality music, is like building your movie library from the Be Kind Rewind Store.
So in addition to not listening to the radio, here are a list of some artists to avoid like the drunk blonde at the bar who's dancing resembles a down syndrome kid having a seizure.
Ke$ha - In general, avoid anyone who uses gimmicks like replacing an "s" with a "$". Her music is far from money and her behavior is questionable. Anyone who brushes their teeth with "Jack" and finds Mick Jagger attractive should be approached with caution. Her music is fun but provides little else in the form of artistry and lyrics. Simply put, she's just another drunk girl at the bar.
Miley Cyrus - As a rule of thumb, any artist that started their career making music for 6-year old boys and middle-school girls will not transcend into the next Red Hot Chili Peppers or Dave Matthews Band. The case against such musicians is great(Lil Romeo, the Spice Girls, and 99% of Boy Bands, Hilary Duff, etc.). The obvious exception is Justin Timberlake.
Lady GaGa - She gets props for being the first artist to become popular despite the CSI investigations regarding her sex. Boy George, RuPaul and Clay Aiken should applaud her. Unfortunately, her music gets placed on the same shelf as Ke$ha. Her sound is catchy and fun, but her lyrics are empty. She has a filthier mouth than that lint-licker from the Orbitz commercial.
Soulja Boy - On occasion, you can find us in the club, enjoying these kind of songs for what they are. But you certainly won't find Soulja Boy sneak his way into a playlist that includes: Kanye, Weezer, Michael Jackson, Lupe, The Beatles and Fallout Boy. He just doesn't belong. Same goes for Gucci Mane, DJ Unk, GS Boyz or any other artist with all beats and no lyrics.
Almost every country artist - There's a few that we'll entertain. And if it's your cup of tea, so be it. But any songs about dead dogs, exes from Texas, drinking problems, the "holler", and especially songs with underlying racism should be avoided.
If you delete those artists from your playlist and stay away from the radio, you still won't have our phenomenal cosmic music powers. But when you know what story you're not in, it'll be easier for you to appreciate the story you should be in.
BONUS: Like some great CD's, if you make it all the way to the end, you get an extra reward. Check out these songs: Wale - Contemplate, John Mayer - Assassin, Kid CuDi - Heart of a Lion.
Four of those songs are unforgivably abysmal and two of them were kind of cool but have lost their touch. Only "Empire State of Mind" is a good song. But when it's played once every seven seconds, it starts to sound like this. I'm not sure if the radio has always been so painfully poor, or if it is simply my grand fortune that it just sucks balls now that I am without an iPod. As inconvenient as my luck happens to be, I'm going to assume that the song selection on the radio has sucked longer than the LA Clippers.I can say, with certainty, that if the majority of your music listening comes from the radio, your ears are being gang-raped by a gaggle of silverback gorrillas.
Writing this almost seems pointless, because I can't imagine anyone listens to the radio and digs these songs. However, radio stations are miraculously in business. It's sad when numerous people answer the question, "what kind of music do you listen to?" with "oh, whatever is on the radio". Relying on the radio for quality music, is like building your movie library from the Be Kind Rewind Store.
So in addition to not listening to the radio, here are a list of some artists to avoid like the drunk blonde at the bar who's dancing resembles a down syndrome kid having a seizure.
Ke$ha - In general, avoid anyone who uses gimmicks like replacing an "s" with a "$". Her music is far from money and her behavior is questionable. Anyone who brushes their teeth with "Jack" and finds Mick Jagger attractive should be approached with caution. Her music is fun but provides little else in the form of artistry and lyrics. Simply put, she's just another drunk girl at the bar.
Miley Cyrus - As a rule of thumb, any artist that started their career making music for 6-year old boys and middle-school girls will not transcend into the next Red Hot Chili Peppers or Dave Matthews Band. The case against such musicians is great(Lil Romeo, the Spice Girls, and 99% of Boy Bands, Hilary Duff, etc.). The obvious exception is Justin Timberlake.
Lady GaGa - She gets props for being the first artist to become popular despite the CSI investigations regarding her sex. Boy George, RuPaul and Clay Aiken should applaud her. Unfortunately, her music gets placed on the same shelf as Ke$ha. Her sound is catchy and fun, but her lyrics are empty. She has a filthier mouth than that lint-licker from the Orbitz commercial.
Soulja Boy - On occasion, you can find us in the club, enjoying these kind of songs for what they are. But you certainly won't find Soulja Boy sneak his way into a playlist that includes: Kanye, Weezer, Michael Jackson, Lupe, The Beatles and Fallout Boy. He just doesn't belong. Same goes for Gucci Mane, DJ Unk, GS Boyz or any other artist with all beats and no lyrics.
Almost every country artist - There's a few that we'll entertain. And if it's your cup of tea, so be it. But any songs about dead dogs, exes from Texas, drinking problems, the "holler", and especially songs with underlying racism should be avoided.
If you delete those artists from your playlist and stay away from the radio, you still won't have our phenomenal cosmic music powers. But when you know what story you're not in, it'll be easier for you to appreciate the story you should be in.
BONUS: Like some great CD's, if you make it all the way to the end, you get an extra reward. Check out these songs: Wale - Contemplate, John Mayer - Assassin, Kid CuDi - Heart of a Lion.
Monday, March 1, 2010
"Somebody's got a case of the Mondays" - Office Space
Lucky for you guys, we overcame our near-fatal case of the Mondays and threw this Monday Morning QB post together. If you haven't been smart enough to discover this on your own, clicking on the links in our posts will make our jokes even more clever. I know that's hard to believe, but let's just give it a test.
What a tremendous weekend in sports. If you didn’t find the weekend’s sporting events absolutely sparkling, then you were about as lifeless as a plastic f**k doll. Our American hockey team dazzled its way to the gold medal game. Unfortunately, the magical run (which seemed ever more destined to end with gold after an astonishing game-tying goal with 24 seconds left) ended with a Sidney “The Crybaby” Crosby overtime goal to lift Canada over the United States. This was an absolutely heart wrenching punch to the gut. However, our boys in blue displayed bigger cojones than Colossus the Bulldog in erasing a 2-0 deficit and pushing the Goliath Canadians to the brink of what would have been a monumental collapse. The big blower comes in the realization that the Americans actually played a better game against these Canadians than their first meet, which ended in a Team USA victory. For their valiant display, We applaud Team USA.
A number of key games have passed since the NBA trade deadline. These games have allowed us the opportunity to evaluate a couple blockbuster moves. The Dallas Mavericks earn an A+ for their acquisitions. They are currently riding the longest unbeaten streak at 7 games. This streak includes quality wins over a few elite teams and a couple playoff bound squads: Lakers, Magic, Hawks, Suns, and Heat. They are a suddenly scary team with solid perimeter defense and a new mobile center that blocks shots. After a brief adjustment period, the Cavaliers are back to their winning ways, reeling off 3 wins in a row. The loss of Shaq makes the Antawn Jamison trade all the more important. The Milwaukee Bucks seem to be reaping the benefits of John Salmons. John Salmons doing work happens about as often as a Leprechaun siting.
This past weekend also presented us with crucial college basketball games that are sure to define teams' chances of making the NCAA tournament. For once, college basketball seems to lack the two or three dominating powers that often cruise through a season. The increasing parity is made evident with the top 3 teams losing over the weekend. We only managed to catch one college basketball game, but it was a thrilling 73-70 Old Dominion victory over VCU. Congrats to the hometown ODU men’s team on clinching the regular season CAA title. And could someone please ask the Texas hoops team about their wieners. They have apparently lost their manhood and now these freak athletes play more like Freak Show. After starting the season 17-0, and boasting a number 1 ranking, they have since gone 5-7.
By now you've realized we provide a better scoop than ESPN, Rolling Stone, and IMDB combined. Make sure you check back tomorrow for an iTunes Tuesday that will change your life. And look for our March Madness preview next week. We'll break down every conference tournament, and give you our picks for the at-large bids. We don't exactly get a hand in the NCAA's selection process, but still, we're kind of a big deal.
What a tremendous weekend in sports. If you didn’t find the weekend’s sporting events absolutely sparkling, then you were about as lifeless as a plastic f**k doll. Our American hockey team dazzled its way to the gold medal game. Unfortunately, the magical run (which seemed ever more destined to end with gold after an astonishing game-tying goal with 24 seconds left) ended with a Sidney “The Crybaby” Crosby overtime goal to lift Canada over the United States. This was an absolutely heart wrenching punch to the gut. However, our boys in blue displayed bigger cojones than Colossus the Bulldog in erasing a 2-0 deficit and pushing the Goliath Canadians to the brink of what would have been a monumental collapse. The big blower comes in the realization that the Americans actually played a better game against these Canadians than their first meet, which ended in a Team USA victory. For their valiant display, We applaud Team USA.
A number of key games have passed since the NBA trade deadline. These games have allowed us the opportunity to evaluate a couple blockbuster moves. The Dallas Mavericks earn an A+ for their acquisitions. They are currently riding the longest unbeaten streak at 7 games. This streak includes quality wins over a few elite teams and a couple playoff bound squads: Lakers, Magic, Hawks, Suns, and Heat. They are a suddenly scary team with solid perimeter defense and a new mobile center that blocks shots. After a brief adjustment period, the Cavaliers are back to their winning ways, reeling off 3 wins in a row. The loss of Shaq makes the Antawn Jamison trade all the more important. The Milwaukee Bucks seem to be reaping the benefits of John Salmons. John Salmons doing work happens about as often as a Leprechaun siting.
This past weekend also presented us with crucial college basketball games that are sure to define teams' chances of making the NCAA tournament. For once, college basketball seems to lack the two or three dominating powers that often cruise through a season. The increasing parity is made evident with the top 3 teams losing over the weekend. We only managed to catch one college basketball game, but it was a thrilling 73-70 Old Dominion victory over VCU. Congrats to the hometown ODU men’s team on clinching the regular season CAA title. And could someone please ask the Texas hoops team about their wieners. They have apparently lost their manhood and now these freak athletes play more like Freak Show. After starting the season 17-0, and boasting a number 1 ranking, they have since gone 5-7.
By now you've realized we provide a better scoop than ESPN, Rolling Stone, and IMDB combined. Make sure you check back tomorrow for an iTunes Tuesday that will change your life. And look for our March Madness preview next week. We'll break down every conference tournament, and give you our picks for the at-large bids. We don't exactly get a hand in the NCAA's selection process, but still, we're kind of a big deal.
Friday, February 26, 2010
When it rains, it hurricanes
So after spending all that time perfecting the script, it was only fitting that the inspiration behind the movie reared it's head this morning. For both of us.
Combined, we're in well over six figures of debt - mostly Student Loans. We've both devised different plans to cope with our financial woes. From this point on we will refer to the two of us as Idiot A and Idiot B.
Idiot A happens to view his "net worth" in a positive, and slightly delusional, light. This moron only looks at the difference between his checking account and credit card debt, ignoring any other debts and student loans. There's no way tens of thousands of dollars will be paid back anytime soon, so feeling like you are only in debt $200 bucks feels better than say, $35,200 or $80,200. Last month, Idiot A was actually +$400. This month, sparing you the details, he is -$1,000. Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat.
Idiot A is actually doing quite well for himself, but only when compared to Idiot B. Idiot B easily trumps "not so much of an Idiot A" with nearly triple the debt. Recently, Idiot B decided to consolidate his credit card payments to get them paid off quicker. Last week he called the CC company to change his due date to coincide with the payments he makes to the consolidation company. More on this in a second.
It's ironic, because an almost identical scenario was invented for a scene in our screenplay. And then a couple months later it happens in real life. I think next week we will add a scene where we hit the lottery/sell a movie to Hollywood and see if we can duplicate our Nostradamus-like powers.
So, today, Idiot B is sitting at his desk and checks his bank account. He was licking his chops, as today was the almighty payday. Somehow, but not surprisingly, his account is instantly $250 short. Come to find out, his car payments had been automatically deducted from his account without his authorization. The swift kick in the balls is only made more devastating since he had already made his payments manually. Nothing beats paying you're car payments twice in one month with money you don't have.
While checking his accounts, he realizes that his due date for his credit card payments still have not been changed. He phones them, and they apologize, but tell him the date won't be changed until next month. This poses a huge dilemma, since the Consolidation Company is scheduled to automatically deduct payments from his account as well. After nearly an hour long conversation, the Consolidation company informs Idiot B that he must pay BOTH the credit card company AND the consolidation company for the month of March, until the program kicks in during the second month (April). This is clearly information that could have been brought to his attention YESTERDAY.
It's all in a day's work for us. After a few weeks of doing pretty well financially, we sink $1,500 further into debt, and get duped into making double payments (on two bills no less).
Like so much of the events in our movie, the joke's on us. Hope you enjoy it. We sure don't.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Psalm 118:1
After only a week, our blog has begun to pick up steam, and traffic to our site is slowly picking up. As the blog and our script begin to find success, it would be easy to dutch rudder one another and become big headed. We are, however, both in complete understanding that we cannot take all the credit. We “gotta thank all those little digital guys with the big hearts.” So as we near the coming weekend, in hopes of not having to waste a precious day off on one of those “boring family barbecues,” we offer up Thursday as our day of thanks.
First and foremost, we would like to personally devote this time to thank our loyal following. It is a modest following that we hope will grow, but a following nonetheless. If you're feeling our vibe, chances are other people will too, so we appreciate your help in spreading the word about our project.
These are the following people who make a conscious effort to read our blog on the daily:
Abby “30 minute Abs” Salter
Andre “my booboo” Randolph
Carlos Eckerd
Chetak “Chuck” Patel
Chris Huntley
Dan “Danny Smansky” Szramowski
Lindsey “Kung Fu Panda” Sun
Mattson "WackeyChan.com" Tomlin
Michele “Wilkes & Marion Barber” Booth
Sumner “Sharktooth” Crawford
With utmost sincerity, we thank each and every one of you for supporting and following us. It means a lot. We hope you continue to chew the crap we feed you.
Would also like to give a bonus shout-out to our dudes Carlos and Chetak for making donations to the cause. Your generosity will go a long way in making this script find a Hollywood home.
A special thanks to Adriana Zyskowski for her assistance in getting us hooked up with some of her Hollywood connects. Yea, she’s a baller. Thanks.
So far things are going exactly as we envisioned. Our goal is to get as many people excited and interested in this as possible. We hope that when our script sells, and our crazy dream becomes a reality, all our close friends will be celebrating alongside us. We want all our friends to have a sense of ownership over this movie's success. Everyone at the premiere will have had some hand in making this happen (whether it is through your generous donations, spreading the word about our blog, or putting us in touch with people in the movie industry.
Another way you can help us out is to click the "follow" button over to the right. If someone new checks out our site and sees that 150 people follow this site, compared to 1 or 2, they're more likely to give us a fair read.
Thanks to all our minions and unnamed fools that read the site. If you'd like to get famous for absolutely no reason, join the above mentioned names and follow our blog, send us an e-mail, leave a comment, make a donation, follow the blow, link to us on your website. Any type of approval for our efforts is appreciated. It is also needed, as our egos crave the constant boost.
First and foremost, we would like to personally devote this time to thank our loyal following. It is a modest following that we hope will grow, but a following nonetheless. If you're feeling our vibe, chances are other people will too, so we appreciate your help in spreading the word about our project.
These are the following people who make a conscious effort to read our blog on the daily:
Abby “30 minute Abs” Salter
Andre “my booboo” Randolph
Carlos Eckerd
Chetak “Chuck” Patel
Chris Huntley
Dan “Danny Smansky” Szramowski
Lindsey “Kung Fu Panda” Sun
Mattson "WackeyChan.com" Tomlin
Michele “Wilkes & Marion Barber” Booth
Sumner “Sharktooth” Crawford
With utmost sincerity, we thank each and every one of you for supporting and following us. It means a lot. We hope you continue to chew the crap we feed you.
Would also like to give a bonus shout-out to our dudes Carlos and Chetak for making donations to the cause. Your generosity will go a long way in making this script find a Hollywood home.
A special thanks to Adriana Zyskowski for her assistance in getting us hooked up with some of her Hollywood connects. Yea, she’s a baller. Thanks.
So far things are going exactly as we envisioned. Our goal is to get as many people excited and interested in this as possible. We hope that when our script sells, and our crazy dream becomes a reality, all our close friends will be celebrating alongside us. We want all our friends to have a sense of ownership over this movie's success. Everyone at the premiere will have had some hand in making this happen (whether it is through your generous donations, spreading the word about our blog, or putting us in touch with people in the movie industry.
Another way you can help us out is to click the "follow" button over to the right. If someone new checks out our site and sees that 150 people follow this site, compared to 1 or 2, they're more likely to give us a fair read.
Thanks to all our minions and unnamed fools that read the site. If you'd like to get famous for absolutely no reason, join the above mentioned names and follow our blog, send us an e-mail, leave a comment, make a donation, follow the blow, link to us on your website. Any type of approval for our efforts is appreciated. It is also needed, as our egos crave the constant boost.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
"Dear Sergio" - Catch 22
The more we research and explore the market for selling a comedy spec script, the more head-shaking the process becomes. Don't know what a spec script is? Allow wiki to educate you. There are two contradicting elements to selling a screenplay. The process should be very simple. Funny script should equal money in the bizzank. Unfortunately, the selling point is harder than Jim Levenstein during a Nadia encounter.
To get your script read by an agent or producer, you need a killer log line. This log line must demonstrate that you've written a script with a well-developed, intriguing plot that appeals to a wide audience. But, on the flip side, you want the reader to be able to digest your story in a quick, smooth read. For comedies, the reader does not want to waste time figuring out the back-story of your characters and intricate plot twists. They just want to laugh. On every page. The majority of the time, a comedy is sold on it's comedy, (ironic, yea?) not it's earth-shattering plot.
If you have a script that really cracks-up the reader, it's much easier to sell a comedy spec than other genres. Almost half of all the Hollywood spec script sales last year were comedies. But the problem is, you need to get someone to WANT to read that funny script first. Fifty percent of the time, writing a knee slapping comedy attracts someone's attention every time.
And that's our dilemma. We know we've got a script with lots of laughs, but our screenplay is a clean, straightforward, realistic story. Unfortunately, realistic is hard to sell, hence Pamela's quadruple D breasts. That seems to be the script a reader will enjoy reading, but unless they have a reason to read it first, they won't. Think about the general premise for some of the funnier movies you've seen. Borderline snores if you ask me.
Would you be compelled to read the script for a movie about two high-school kids' adventurous attempts to buy beer with a fake ID in order to impress a couple cute girls? Probably not. That's just a regular, old plain ham and cheese story. But if you read the script for Superbad, you'd chuckle up a stiff boner. What about a script that follows two guys showing up uninvited to weddings? This might prove to be a funny premise, might not. Unfortunately tho, you probably wouldn't be compelled to check it out. In the event that someone takes a chance and devotes those two hours to read it, they become pleasantly surprised to find a blockbuster gem.
So that's part of where this site comes in. A lot of times when a movie like that is sold, the writer has to build some type of relationship within the industry. The only other alternative is to kidnap a studio executive, force him to read your script, and hope he laughs enough to overlook your felony. A personal acquaintance might read a script you swear is funny, even if it might not compel them to read it at first glance. Maybe our log line won't pique the interest of a Hollywood reader or major production company. But maybe someone stumbles across this site and sees a refreshing comedic voice and decides they'd give our script a read.
That's not to say our plot is garbage. It's more than just a string of funny scenes. Or is it? Guess you'll have to give it a read.
We really need all the help and support we can get from any and all takers (and givers). The donations will help us afford to get our script critiqued by accomplished, produced screenwriters, eventually book flights to meet with agents and producers, purchase listings and services to get in contact with respected production companies and actors. Heck, maybe you just dig the double dose of phallic humor and want to thank us with a small donation. Ya know, if you're into that sort of thing (Pun intended). The financial support would greatly help two debt-stricken guys(the basis of our screenplay) avoid going into any further debt.
To get your script read by an agent or producer, you need a killer log line. This log line must demonstrate that you've written a script with a well-developed, intriguing plot that appeals to a wide audience. But, on the flip side, you want the reader to be able to digest your story in a quick, smooth read. For comedies, the reader does not want to waste time figuring out the back-story of your characters and intricate plot twists. They just want to laugh. On every page. The majority of the time, a comedy is sold on it's comedy, (ironic, yea?) not it's earth-shattering plot.
If you have a script that really cracks-up the reader, it's much easier to sell a comedy spec than other genres. Almost half of all the Hollywood spec script sales last year were comedies. But the problem is, you need to get someone to WANT to read that funny script first. Fifty percent of the time, writing a knee slapping comedy attracts someone's attention every time.
And that's our dilemma. We know we've got a script with lots of laughs, but our screenplay is a clean, straightforward, realistic story. Unfortunately, realistic is hard to sell, hence Pamela's quadruple D breasts. That seems to be the script a reader will enjoy reading, but unless they have a reason to read it first, they won't. Think about the general premise for some of the funnier movies you've seen. Borderline snores if you ask me.
Would you be compelled to read the script for a movie about two high-school kids' adventurous attempts to buy beer with a fake ID in order to impress a couple cute girls? Probably not. That's just a regular, old plain ham and cheese story. But if you read the script for Superbad, you'd chuckle up a stiff boner. What about a script that follows two guys showing up uninvited to weddings? This might prove to be a funny premise, might not. Unfortunately tho, you probably wouldn't be compelled to check it out. In the event that someone takes a chance and devotes those two hours to read it, they become pleasantly surprised to find a blockbuster gem.
So that's part of where this site comes in. A lot of times when a movie like that is sold, the writer has to build some type of relationship within the industry. The only other alternative is to kidnap a studio executive, force him to read your script, and hope he laughs enough to overlook your felony. A personal acquaintance might read a script you swear is funny, even if it might not compel them to read it at first glance. Maybe our log line won't pique the interest of a Hollywood reader or major production company. But maybe someone stumbles across this site and sees a refreshing comedic voice and decides they'd give our script a read.
That's not to say our plot is garbage. It's more than just a string of funny scenes. Or is it? Guess you'll have to give it a read.
We really need all the help and support we can get from any and all takers (and givers). The donations will help us afford to get our script critiqued by accomplished, produced screenwriters, eventually book flights to meet with agents and producers, purchase listings and services to get in contact with respected production companies and actors. Heck, maybe you just dig the double dose of phallic humor and want to thank us with a small donation. Ya know, if you're into that sort of thing (Pun intended). The financial support would greatly help two debt-stricken guys(the basis of our screenplay) avoid going into any further debt.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
"Loud Noises" - Anchorman
Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma, Roma-ma
Gaga, ooh, la la
Ok, so we are definitely not going to use today’s segment to write about the illustrious Lady Gaga. But lets discuss someone in the music industry who’s quickly becoming bigger than Ms. Gaga’s male genitalia: Drake.
Mr. Drizzy Drake is known for his witty one-liners, a la Lil Wayne, and smooth vocals. His rise in the industry is remarkable, considering he has yet to release an album. The hits keep coming, and Drake has done little to disappoint. Unfortunately, we are all chugging his Sprite so quick that we have failed to see the kid with the real 7up in the game. Allow me to introduce J.Cole.
J. Cole was the first artist signed to Jay-Z’s new label, Roc Nation. His introduction to the mainstream was in Jay-Z’s The Blue Print III, on the track “A Star is Born.” The North Carolina bred lyricist delivers quite a punch on the track. J. Cole strikes a similar resemblance to Lupe. His music is real and his flow is so sharp it leaves an emo kid's wrists hurting. While Drake has “money to blow,” Mr. Jermaine Cole is running on a “dollar and a dream.” Please check out his latest mixtape, “The Warmup.” If your schedule doesn't allow you to devote forty minutes to the whole CD, do yourselves a favor and listen to "Can I Live" and "Grown Simba." We will be having an exam on this, so please, no shortcuts.
That's your weekly dose of iTunes Tuesday. To stop the incessant pain in your ears, please follow our professional advice and take this prescription. Your ears will be tickled pink with pleasure in no time. You're welcome, now clap for us, clap for us.
Roma, Roma-ma
Gaga, ooh, la la
Ok, so we are definitely not going to use today’s segment to write about the illustrious Lady Gaga. But lets discuss someone in the music industry who’s quickly becoming bigger than Ms. Gaga’s male genitalia: Drake.
Mr. Drizzy Drake is known for his witty one-liners, a la Lil Wayne, and smooth vocals. His rise in the industry is remarkable, considering he has yet to release an album. The hits keep coming, and Drake has done little to disappoint. Unfortunately, we are all chugging his Sprite so quick that we have failed to see the kid with the real 7up in the game. Allow me to introduce J.Cole.
J. Cole was the first artist signed to Jay-Z’s new label, Roc Nation. His introduction to the mainstream was in Jay-Z’s The Blue Print III, on the track “A Star is Born.” The North Carolina bred lyricist delivers quite a punch on the track. J. Cole strikes a similar resemblance to Lupe. His music is real and his flow is so sharp it leaves an emo kid's wrists hurting. While Drake has “money to blow,” Mr. Jermaine Cole is running on a “dollar and a dream.” Please check out his latest mixtape, “The Warmup.” If your schedule doesn't allow you to devote forty minutes to the whole CD, do yourselves a favor and listen to "Can I Live" and "Grown Simba." We will be having an exam on this, so please, no shortcuts.
That's your weekly dose of iTunes Tuesday. To stop the incessant pain in your ears, please follow our professional advice and take this prescription. Your ears will be tickled pink with pleasure in no time. You're welcome, now clap for us, clap for us.
Monday, February 22, 2010
“If a person grits his teeth and shows real determination…” –Charlie Brown
Much has happened in the world of sports in recent days. Tiger Woods made his highly anticipated public announcement to the world on Friday. What concerns me was his showcased apology. I’m not saying it lacked any sincerity, or that he has failed to accept responsibility for his actions. I’m just curious as to why Tiger Woods owed me an apology. I’m not your wife; don’t tell me how sorry you are. At the end of his conference, he left me like one of his hooker dial-ups, scratching my head wondering when he would be back.
There was a slew of NBA trades that look to shake up the landscape of the league. After being blinded by many of the smokescreens and rumors that come with a trade deadline, we were actually treated to some blockbuster moves. How these moves fair for each team is to be seen. King James certainly hopes that his Cleveland Cavaliers' recent 3-game skid since acquiring Antawn Jamison is not a sign of the times.
Despite the major NBA trades and Tiger’s apology, hockey came out of the weekend with the biggest headline. Team USA trumped the almighty Canadian hosts 5-3 in one of the most gut-wrenching endings to an Olympic hockey game ever. The United States grit their teeth and displayed the utmost determination in grinding out a victory against a bevy of NHL All-stars that outshot the boys in blue 45-23. The win catapults the Americans into Wednesday’s quarterfinals. This was easily the most important win for Team USA since Gordon Bombay and Julie "The Cat" Gaffney stopped Iceland in the '94 Junior Games. As big of a victory as it was for the American skaters, it was just as much so, if not more, for the NHL.
Hockey has clearly dropped out of the forefront of major mainstream sports. What was once a Big Four (NFL, NBA, MLB, and NHL) is now simply a One (NFL) casting its shadow on a smaller two (NBA and MLB). Hockey has become a passion reserved for a select following. NHL games have become the “Where’s Waldo” of televised sports. But for one night, hockey became more than just a topic of water cooler discussion. The chatter, hype, and excitement amongst the general public was evident. Sure, the United States didn’t go into a nation wide freeze, but the buzz was there. This little bit of Buzz, and a headlining story on ESPN.com, is a monumental victory for a sport that is all but frozen dead.
There was a slew of NBA trades that look to shake up the landscape of the league. After being blinded by many of the smokescreens and rumors that come with a trade deadline, we were actually treated to some blockbuster moves. How these moves fair for each team is to be seen. King James certainly hopes that his Cleveland Cavaliers' recent 3-game skid since acquiring Antawn Jamison is not a sign of the times.
Despite the major NBA trades and Tiger’s apology, hockey came out of the weekend with the biggest headline. Team USA trumped the almighty Canadian hosts 5-3 in one of the most gut-wrenching endings to an Olympic hockey game ever. The United States grit their teeth and displayed the utmost determination in grinding out a victory against a bevy of NHL All-stars that outshot the boys in blue 45-23. The win catapults the Americans into Wednesday’s quarterfinals. This was easily the most important win for Team USA since Gordon Bombay and Julie "The Cat" Gaffney stopped Iceland in the '94 Junior Games. As big of a victory as it was for the American skaters, it was just as much so, if not more, for the NHL.
Hockey has clearly dropped out of the forefront of major mainstream sports. What was once a Big Four (NFL, NBA, MLB, and NHL) is now simply a One (NFL) casting its shadow on a smaller two (NBA and MLB). Hockey has become a passion reserved for a select following. NHL games have become the “Where’s Waldo” of televised sports. But for one night, hockey became more than just a topic of water cooler discussion. The chatter, hype, and excitement amongst the general public was evident. Sure, the United States didn’t go into a nation wide freeze, but the buzz was there. This little bit of Buzz, and a headlining story on ESPN.com, is a monumental victory for a sport that is all but frozen dead.
Friday, February 19, 2010
"It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing" - Office Space
It's only fitting that our first official post centers around movies, and more importantly, our movie. We are exactly half-way finished with our re-writes (55 pages down, 55 pages to go!). It's going much smoother and quicker than writing the original drafts. Now that the characters all have personalities and the storyline is finished, perfecting their dialogue is more natural. Noticing typos, grammatical errors, and flaws in the plot is easier as well. It does get frustrating when we breeze through pages of the script with only minor corrections, and then spend an hour or two searching for the perfect words for just one line.
No single person can turn a screenplay into a movie, so we've been reaching out to people in different fields of show business. We've gotten a lot of tips from the guys that write at The Working Screenwriter and Screenwriter's Rehab. Both of them have had some success in this business and we're thrilled to be getting first-hand suggestions from people who know the industry.
It's difficult for unknown writers to catch the attention of agents and producers. But some of our favorite movies have been written by first-time writers, so hopefully we can catch lightning in a bottle as well. As mentioned in our blog intro, the rumor is that someone in Hollywood came across Diablo Cody's blog and thought she had a great voice and and could relate to a wide audience. The result was Juno. Scott Neustadter experienced heartbreak and turned it into (500) Days of Summer. There are countless others, but those are the two closest to our path. Our screenplay is similar to (500) because we've endured some very unfortunate events in our life. But everyone else always got a good laugh out our expense. Our efforts to get noticed are similar to how someone noticed Diablo's blog.
About a year ago, people always told us, "that should be in a movie" after getting a chuckle out of something going on in our lives. So, we spent some time rehashing our debacles, creating a story line, and exaggerating the mess out of our shenanigans. In that time, if there is anything we've learned about trying to sell a spec. script it's that there is no format to follow, no path to success. Which is great for us, because we'd rather do it our own made-up way anyhow.
Since our movie isn't in theaters just yet (just yet = never), you should check out Shutter Island. I also recommend seeing Avatar. But if you haven't seen it yet, I can't imagine you're going to the movies this weekend.
No single person can turn a screenplay into a movie, so we've been reaching out to people in different fields of show business. We've gotten a lot of tips from the guys that write at The Working Screenwriter and Screenwriter's Rehab. Both of them have had some success in this business and we're thrilled to be getting first-hand suggestions from people who know the industry.
It's difficult for unknown writers to catch the attention of agents and producers. But some of our favorite movies have been written by first-time writers, so hopefully we can catch lightning in a bottle as well. As mentioned in our blog intro, the rumor is that someone in Hollywood came across Diablo Cody's blog and thought she had a great voice and and could relate to a wide audience. The result was Juno. Scott Neustadter experienced heartbreak and turned it into (500) Days of Summer. There are countless others, but those are the two closest to our path. Our screenplay is similar to (500) because we've endured some very unfortunate events in our life. But everyone else always got a good laugh out our expense. Our efforts to get noticed are similar to how someone noticed Diablo's blog.
About a year ago, people always told us, "that should be in a movie" after getting a chuckle out of something going on in our lives. So, we spent some time rehashing our debacles, creating a story line, and exaggerating the mess out of our shenanigans. In that time, if there is anything we've learned about trying to sell a spec. script it's that there is no format to follow, no path to success. Which is great for us, because we'd rather do it our own made-up way anyhow.
Since our movie isn't in theaters just yet (just yet = never), you should check out Shutter Island. I also recommend seeing Avatar. But if you haven't seen it yet, I can't imagine you're going to the movies this weekend.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Ready for Take-off
We decided to change the site up a little bit. Rather than an explanation of our Hollywood-bound efforts, we elected to turn this into an actual blog. By documenting our progress and writing about some topics of interest,we hope to give our script a greater chance of being recognized by some Big Wig Producer Hopefully you’ll find some of the crap we write somewhat humorous, slightly intelligent, and a tad entertaining. If you happen to be delusional enough to find this nonsense scintillating, then please direct your friends to our site. Maybe enough traffic will come through that it eventually reaches the likes of Judd Apatow. If you find it so terrible that you send it to your friends as a gag, we’ll take that kind of fame and notoriety, too.
We hope that you will follow us on Twitter and join our Facebook Fan Page. Also, to the right of the page, you can make tweets and status updates about our site and what we are trying to accomplish. Please help us spread the word.
Since neither of us would ever journal-blog about our weekend misadventures, and sticking to just one topic like “The 80’s TV blog” would bore us to death, we’re going in a different direction. We figured we'd write about some of the important issues in our world: Politics, Economics and Government (pronounced: Sports, Movies & Music). The format we've chosen will give us some kind of direction. Rather than allowing ourselves to bounce around, we have placed a slight boundary on what we write about. This gives you, the reader, some kind of expectations. But, as the writers, we can ultimately do whatever we want. So don't get too comfy. There will be one post a day Monday through Friday of whatever length of words is appropriate.
So without further adieu, here is our severely corny lay-out:
Monday Morning QB: Anything Sports related from the weekend, upcoming games, stats, who knows. During baseball season, we’ll have to get creative. Just kidding. Sort of.
iTunes Tuesday: With our excellent taste in music, we’ll try to educate the world on what we’ve been listening to lately. Might be a short post like, “Google these songs by this band and start listening to them”, or it might be a rant on why someone has to be considered the most talented Hip-Hop Artist alive. In any case, your ear will thank you for taking our advice.
Wild-Card Wednesday: Can you imagine a better way to break up the monotony of hump-day than finding out the surprise blog-post waiting for you here? Hopefully you can, but some kind of mystery will be waiting for you anyway.
Thursday Thanks: We have received an overwhelming amount of support from our friends and family to get this project off the ground. We hope to continue receiving such strong assistance, especially as our wallets run dry. This section will be reserved to acknowledge all the individuals we encounter that have either helped us with the script, given us a push in life, or thrown us a bone at some point. We will also use this as an opportunity to throw in the occasional plug for someone else's website. And of course, anyone that makes a donation will get listed on Thursdays as well.
Filmmaking Friday: We’ll update you about flicks we’ve seen recently, movies coming out, stuff about our screenwriting endeavors, and for good-measure we’ll lend this section to TV as well.
So there it is. We’re actually moronic enough to believe this idea might somehow get us noticed by someone with a huge checking account. But hey, Diablo Cody (Writer of Juno) got noticed doing a blog, and if the idea for Million-Dollar home-page worked then we’ll waste some time writing stuff no one is going to read.
We hope that you will follow us on Twitter and join our Facebook Fan Page. Also, to the right of the page, you can make tweets and status updates about our site and what we are trying to accomplish. Please help us spread the word.
Since neither of us would ever journal-blog about our weekend misadventures, and sticking to just one topic like “The 80’s TV blog” would bore us to death, we’re going in a different direction. We figured we'd write about some of the important issues in our world: Politics, Economics and Government (pronounced: Sports, Movies & Music). The format we've chosen will give us some kind of direction. Rather than allowing ourselves to bounce around, we have placed a slight boundary on what we write about. This gives you, the reader, some kind of expectations. But, as the writers, we can ultimately do whatever we want. So don't get too comfy. There will be one post a day Monday through Friday of whatever length of words is appropriate.
So without further adieu, here is our severely corny lay-out:
Monday Morning QB: Anything Sports related from the weekend, upcoming games, stats, who knows. During baseball season, we’ll have to get creative. Just kidding. Sort of.
iTunes Tuesday: With our excellent taste in music, we’ll try to educate the world on what we’ve been listening to lately. Might be a short post like, “Google these songs by this band and start listening to them”, or it might be a rant on why someone has to be considered the most talented Hip-Hop Artist alive. In any case, your ear will thank you for taking our advice.
Wild-Card Wednesday: Can you imagine a better way to break up the monotony of hump-day than finding out the surprise blog-post waiting for you here? Hopefully you can, but some kind of mystery will be waiting for you anyway.
Thursday Thanks: We have received an overwhelming amount of support from our friends and family to get this project off the ground. We hope to continue receiving such strong assistance, especially as our wallets run dry. This section will be reserved to acknowledge all the individuals we encounter that have either helped us with the script, given us a push in life, or thrown us a bone at some point. We will also use this as an opportunity to throw in the occasional plug for someone else's website. And of course, anyone that makes a donation will get listed on Thursdays as well.
Filmmaking Friday: We’ll update you about flicks we’ve seen recently, movies coming out, stuff about our screenwriting endeavors, and for good-measure we’ll lend this section to TV as well.
So there it is. We’re actually moronic enough to believe this idea might somehow get us noticed by someone with a huge checking account. But hey, Diablo Cody (Writer of Juno) got noticed doing a blog, and if the idea for Million-Dollar home-page worked then we’ll waste some time writing stuff no one is going to read.
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